Where does the rocket sled go?

Fire up the rocket-sled, because TIMECOP is the greatest movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Ridiculous nudity, bad physics, henchmen with villainous hair, Ron Silver stealing every scene he’s in, and Jean Claude doing the splits.  Truly, TIMECOP is the apex of Western film.

This movie contains:

Presented without further comment.

ERRATA:  I meant Joel Schumacher, not Jerry Bruckheimer, when discussing Flatliners.

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If Loving Robots is Wrong…

Hide the freon, because Crash and Burn is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Andrew from The Veef Show.

Review in a Nutshell:  A low-budget science fiction slasher film, Crash and Burn cribs more from The Terminator than from earlier Charles Band properties.  Along with Robot Wars, this is one of many films purported to be a sequel to Robot Jox.

This movie contains:

The Future!

Hand Trauma.

Bill Moseley, Paragon of Acting Technology.

Melancholy Robots.

Emergency Podcast System: Prometheus

We interrupt our regularly scheduled podcast to bring you this special announcement:  Prometheus is terrible.

Click on the movie poster or title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest hosts Ian Strope of the Futile Podcast and Rachel Pandich, author of indie comic book Aspire.

Review in a Nutshell:  Although undeniably beautiful in terms of cinematography and production design, Prometheus suffers from a poor script with writing that disintegrates into a flaming wreck by the movie’s conclusion.  Some people claim the film posses too many unanswered questions.  I claim the opposite: the film answers too many questions, and the answers it gives are dumb.

The Mega-Low Down on the Megalodon in Mallorca.

Fuel up the helicopter, because Shark Attack in the Mediterranean is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring M.O.M., the Mistress of Malapropisms.

Review in a Nutshell:  A perfect storm of hilarious dubbing and scenes lifted from other, bigger movies, Shark Attack in the Meditarranean, aka Shark Alarm off Mallorca, features surprisingly good CG sharks and the charming antics of bodybuilder-turned-actor Ralf Moeller.  As always, M.O.M. loves the scenery.

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The Merry Adventures of Tito and The Wolfman

Zip up those yellow jumpsuits, because Turkey Shoot is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Oliver from the Welcome to the Brain Palace Podcast.

Review in a Nutshell:  An inexplicable mash-up of “women in prison” and “most dangerous game” films, Turkey Shoot is alternatively considered the apex and the nadir of Australian exploitation film.

This movie contains:

Friendly Fascists.

An Arrow Through the Mouth.

A Dapper Wolfman.

Rock `Em Sock `Em Robots, Redux

Strap on your bicycle helmets, because Robot Wars is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring special guest host Andrew from Collection DX and The Veef Show.

Review in a Nutshell:  A straight-to-video science fiction film with a simple premise and a shoe-string budget, Robot Wars does a lot with very little.  The stop-motion animation and laser effects are especially good.

This movie contains:

A giant robot.

Captain Marion McJerkypants.

Asian Tourists with Laser Cameras.

HOLY CRAP, ANOTHER GIANT ROBOT!  Who could have predicted that?

Curse You, Euclid!

Hold onto your boots, because Cube Zero is definitely not the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Hopelessly crippled by ridiculous writing and bad ideas, Cube Zero takes a decent little science fiction / horror series and piledrives it into the pavement.  Its badness has to be seen to be believed.