Aim for the Nerve Cluster!

Get ready to abuse some innocent fishmen, because ARENA is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Did you see that guy just punch that giant rubber space lizard in the face?  Did you?  BECAUSE I SURE DID!

Spice World, Ell Oh Ell

Strap in your noseplugs, because Dune (1984) is (definitely not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Ugly and incomprehensible, the David Lynch version of Dune is a muddled mess that lacks even the redeeming qualities of David Lynch’s usual cinematic weirdness.  On the plus side, Sting in a Thong!

This movie contains:

Phallic Symbols.

STINGINATHONG!  STINGINATHONG!  STINGINATHONG!

Ummm…what the heck is going on here?

Who Goes There?

Fire up your flame-thrower, because John Carpenter’s The Thing is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the link above to download our review of the film.

Review in a Nutshell:   Brimming over with gore and paranoia, John Carpenter’s The Thing is a pessimistic vision and a luminary example of  the science fiction / horror subgenre.

COMING SOON!

“You fool!  My kung fu is best!”

“Love is Fleeting, Power is Eternal!”

Are you a bad enough dude to wield the Glaive?  Whether you are or not, Krull is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  A fantasy film with science fiction elements mixed in, Krull overcomes a fairly formulaic narrative with the help of excellent production design and strong performances by the supporting cast.  It’s also surprisingly violent for a film with a PG rating.

This movie contains:

Gruesome Violence.

A Friendly Cyclops.

The Glaive!

WTF?  Fire-hands?  That’s not fair!

Use the Buddy System!

Hold onto your eyeballs, because Event Horizon is the Greatest Movie EVER?

Review in a Nutshell:  Cobbling together elements from Solaris, Hellraiser, Alien, and The Shining does not guarantee a good science fiction / horror film.   The movie’s strong cast and solid set design can’t compensate for a disconnected, fundamentally absurd plot.

COMING SOON!

Sho Kosugi does some funky hand-jive.

A Very Pretty Mess

Get ready to wave some hippy crystals, because

Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within is (definitely not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  Technically astonishing but emotionally empty, Final Fantasy may have worked better as a video game rather than a full-length theatrical film.  A weak plot and cliche characters diminish the power of the film’s extraordinary visuals.

COMING SOON!

“Who put this giant cheese grater in my spaceship?”

Big Month of Mark – Redline

Hold onto your smuggled shipment of biochips, because Redline is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell: Tibor Takacs’s answer to Blade Runner.  Nuff said.

This movie contains:

Experimental Brain Surgery.

The gun from RoboCop.

Come on, we all know what Virtual Reality would really be used for…

Homoerotic Turkish Baths.

Seriously, Mark, you don’t know where that navel has been…

COMING SOON!

Even more Mark Dacascos goodness in the month of November!

Only the strong could make it this far…

Big Month of Mark – Drive


Hold onto your boots, because Drive is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  Badly mishandled in its initial release, Drive is an American action movie with both a great sense of humor and a Hong Kong martial arts flair.  Condemned to obscurity by its producers, this film should have made Mark Dacascos and Steve Wang household names.

This movie contains:

FIST BOOTS.

Disgruntled cowboy hitmen with rocket launchers.

Fruity musical numbers.

COMING SOON!

More Mark Dacascos goodness in the month of November!

‘Lugubrious’ Actually Means ‘Melancholy’

Gas up the Dune Buggy, because Doomsday is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell: Imagine a distillation of all the crazy stuff that made eighties action movies so remarkable, now add exploding rabbits and Ren Fair.  That’s Doomsday.

This movie contains:

Cybernetic Eyeballs.

Punk Rock Apocalypse Cannibals.

Medieval Knights on Horseback.

Graphical Interface Manipulation Program?

This movie does not contain:

This lady.

COMING SOON:

We need to do something special for episode 150.

Ah, soap.  The yardstick of civilization.

Are you Afraid of the Dark?

Beware of mutant space geckos, because Pitch Black is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell: Pitch Black is a clever little science fiction film with a used universe aesthetic and a scintillating performance by Vin Diesel as escaped convict Richard B. Riddick. Too bad David Twohy had to muck it all up in the sequel…

This movie contains:

Keith David, Space Faring Muslim.

Purple People Eaters? (Okay, that’s more of a Cyan…)

ACTING!

PATHOS.

COMING SOON!

Once again we’ll venture into the Gothic imagination of Guillermo del Toro

when Sean and I review The Devil’s Backbone.