Astonishingly mediocre, The Black Cauldron may just be
The Greatest Worst Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Generic Heroes.
The Frog / Cleavage Scene.
SATAN.
COMING SOON!
“Optimus, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
Category Archives: Fantasy
Labyrinths and Lollipops?
Strap on your scabbards, adventurers, because
Mazes and Monsters is the Greatest (Worst?) Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Helpful Skeletons. (“Beware the Sacrilege!”)
Crazy people.
Stupid Hats.
FINAL THOUGHT!
I hope that dragon fails its Saving Throw vs Doritos…
COMING SOON!
We’re going to keep this Satanic Death bus a-rollin’
when Chad “Winter” Clayton returns to take a stab at
The Black Cauldron.
Ghost Ride the Ugly Puppy
Although the blood-feud between Katherine and Mom continues,
Ghost Rider is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Matt Long as Young Johnny.
“The Cage” as Fully Grown Johnny.
OMG THEY COULD BE TWINS!
This movie also contains:
Sideburn sporting Emo Devil-babies.
Nicholas Cage, Master Thespian!
COMING SOON!
Obey the Fist.
Doesn’t ‘Infra-‘ mean Between?
Imitation, or Inspiration? Regardless, The Super Inframan is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Hong Kong Legend, Danny Lee!
Space Vixens.
Space Vixens.
MIND BULLETS!
Thunderball Fists.
COMING SOON!
Hey, who rattled your Cage?
Mazes and Monsters (Not Really)
All joking aside, Pan’s Labyrinth is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie includes:
Exploding Giant Toads.
Fauns and other fairy woodland creatures.
Peer pressure.
Ofelia: “This’ll make me cool, right?”
Pan: “Yeah, baby, the first one’s free.”
PEEK-A-BOO!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Okay, that’s enough darkness and depression for a while.
After all…
Guillermo just wants to make you smile.
COMING SOON!
Why is Frank Dux so upset? Tune in and find out!
Time-Traveling, Alien, Virtual-Reality, Alternative-Dimensional Scotsmen
Despite my inexplicable affection for the theatrical cut,
Highlander II: The Quickening (Renegade Version) is
the Worst Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
BIIIIIIIIIIRD-MAN!
Once again, BIIIIIIIIIIRD MAN!
Michael Ironside’s one facial expression.
Michael Ironside’s other facial expression.
This movie also contains:
“RAMIIIIIIIIIIIIIREEEEEEEEEEEEZ!”
This movie does not contain:
The Ozone Layer.
Psychedelic Voodoo Codpiece
Everyone loves terrifying musical muppets, so Labyrinth is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
David Bowie.
Legions of Scary Puppets.
Space Jamaicans
CODPIECE
CODPIECE
CODPIECE.
This film does not contain:
Glorified Slash-fic?
Gay Dragons.
April Fool’s is over, and Dragonslayer is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Wizard Hats.
Weird Beards.
Unlikely Heroes.
Fire-breathing in Stereo.
COMING SOON!
GUNHED, standing mode!
Tarzanhelsing!
Despite it’s lack of both plot and character, Van Helsing is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER.
This film contains:
Mysterious Strangers…
Gay Werewolves…
Practical Combat Outfits!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Hit it in its Weak-Spot for Massive Damage!
Ziggy Stardust and the Lonely Deaths of Lizard-Men.
Regardless of Skeletor’s sexual confusion,
Masters of the Universe is the Greatest Movie EVER.
10 Minutes, 31 Seconds In:
Man-at-Arms and Teela, grizzled `76ers line-backer and PETA Activist, respectively.
11 Minutes, 27 Seconds In:
Meg Foster as Evil-Lynn. She’s an uber-hotty.
21 Minutes, 25 Seconds In:
Skeletor in his Sunday-lounge-around-the-throneroom threads.
vs.
Ziggy played guit-a-a-a-ar!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Orco is the Lame Sauce.
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 