The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Packed to the brim with yummy eighties goodness,
The Monster Squad is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Dracula.
The Wolf-Man. (AWOOOOOO!)
The Creature from the Black Lagoon.
The Mummy.
Frankenstein’s Monster.
This movie also contains:
Children with a staunch belief in the Second Amendment.
COMING SOON!
Tim Robbins has issues…
Despite the protests of some sissy zombie-haters,
Slither is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
The rules of Alien Diplomacy.
Tender Alien Romance.
Heroics.
Friendly Zombies.
Despite the presence of Chris Tucker, The Fifth Element is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Tiny Lister, Space President.
Space Ducks.
Space Orcs.
The most annoying man in the galaxy.
Oh, yeah, Milla’s in it, too. (MULTI-PASS!)
COMING SOON!
You know, a little Noxzema could clear that up…
It’s mutant bears all day, every day, in this remarkably family unfriendly film.
That’s right, Prophecy is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Rugged Man-beards.
Dog Bondage.
Armand Assante, Native American!
Owl Bears.
COMING SOON!
Oh noes, more Milla!
For those of you who didn’t get enough Fast Karate this Saturday,
Strange Days is the Greatest Movie EVER.
This podcast contains:
Those Dino-hatin’ outlaws, Dave and Joel.
This movie contains:
The lovely Angela Bassett and the less-than-lovely Juliette Lewis.
This movie also contains:
Fabulous hair-styles.
COMINGS SOON!
“WOLVERINES!”
Not to be confused with its lackluster remake,
Rollerball (1975) is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Cesti. (Oooh, good Vocab word.)
Alfred Hitchcock Impersonators.
Stylin’ Seventies Fashion.
Coma-inducing Concussions.
Although the blood-feud between Katherine and Mom continues,
Ghost Rider is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Matt Long as Young Johnny.
“The Cage” as Fully Grown Johnny.
OMG THEY COULD BE TWINS!
This movie also contains:
Sideburn sporting Emo Devil-babies.
Nicholas Cage, Master Thespian!
COMING SOON!
Obey the Fist.
Imitation, or Inspiration? Regardless, The Super Inframan is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Hong Kong Legend, Danny Lee!
Space Vixens.
Space Vixens.
MIND BULLETS!
Thunderball Fists.
COMING SOON!
Hey, who rattled your Cage?
Despite its over-enthusiastic ad copy, The Vikings is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Ernest Borgnine.
A keen emphasis placed on the role of swords in Norse metaphysics.
(Pun intended.)
“You know, I don’t suppose I will kill you after all. I mean, standing here like this ready to strike the fatal blow,
I realize that you do resemble our late father rather strongly, and somehow it would just feel wrong to smite you
while you’re defenseless…”
“O RLY?”
“GAH! OH SNAP!”
This movie does not contain:
Giant enemy crabs. 😦
Robosexual undertones aside, RobotJox is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This episode features guest host Jeff “Rich Lather” Tatarek from the Lather’s Blather Podcast.
This movie contains:
Crazy Russians.
ROBO FOOT!
ROCKET PUNCH!
CLOSING THOUGHT:
What does this movie deserve?
THUMBS UP.
COMING SOON!
“Searching for Odin, my love?”
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 