The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Prince is the bomb-diggity, and Purple Rain is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Apollonia, not Vanity.
Prince playing with puppets.
Morris Day and Al Sharpton Impersonators.
Impeccable Eighties Fashion Sense.
The Greatest Freeze-Frame in Cinema History.
COMING SOON!
What’s big and metallic and voiced by Vin Diesel?
Join me and special guest host Chad “Winter” Clayton to find out.
Brenda Bakke is smokin’ hot, and Gunhed is the Greatest Movie EVER!
EDIT: I forgot to mention that this episode features guest hosts Steve Harrison and Tim Eldred, a motley pair of treasure hunters.
This film contains:
Carrots.
Gunhed, Standing Mode.
Gunhed, Tank Mode.
CLOSING THOUGHT: How to Design a Bioroid!
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COMING SOON!
Yes, those are the cleansing waters of Lake Minnetonka.
I wonder what color the rain is there?
April Fool’s is over, and Dragonslayer is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Wizard Hats.
Weird Beards.
Unlikely Heroes.
Fire-breathing in Stereo.
COMING SOON!
GUNHED, standing mode!
Destroy all expectations, because Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is the Worst Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Villains with Choice Hats.
Ninjas. (Suddenly, hundreds of them.)
Red Hot Undead Mamas.
Touching Drama!
Kung Fu-wielding Dragons.
And speaking of Dragons…
COMING SOON!
Somebody call Stromnir!
Despite it’s lack of both plot and character, Van Helsing is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER.
This film contains:
Mysterious Strangers…
Gay Werewolves…
Practical Combat Outfits!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Hit it in its Weak-Spot for Massive Damage!
April 1st comes early, and XXX: State of the Union is the Greatest Movie EVER.
This film contains:
Ice Cube…
…Master of Disguise!
Also featuring:
Tanks!
Lots and Lots of Explosions.
NOTE:
Riddick not appearing in this Episode.
Despite the fact that you could defeat the bad guys with a large can of Raid(TM),
Godzilla vs Gigan is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie features:
Gigan!
(In retrospect, it probably was a poor choice of words
to describe Gigan using the phrase “chicken-head”.)
Anguirus!
We root for the under-dog!
Also featuring:
Corn-wielding Hippies!
Space Roaches!
And of, course…
The Showa Era Godzilla!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Don’t forget to show your support for forcing Mom to watch Akira.
Despite the fact that Mom picked it out, Trespass is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film is all about:
Bill Paxton!
Ice T!
And Ice Cube, yo!
(Also featuring Tom “Tiny” Lister.)
Robert Van Winkle not appearing in this episode.
Hands down, The Million Dollar Hotel is the Worst Movie EVER!
In fact, the film was so bad, I didn’t want to slog through it a third time hunting for screen-caps.
So here’s a couple pics I stole off of Google Image Search:
Milla Jovovich and Jeremy Davies as Eloise and TomTom, respectively.
They hail from the Land of Bad Haircuts.
This film makes Kitty sad. 😦
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 