The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Don’t have a Descartian existential crisis,
because Ghost in the Shell is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Naked Bungee Jumping.
Basset Hounds.
Batou, probably my favorite character in cinema. (Besides Tank Girl.)
Kusanagi MOE-toko. OMGLOLZ.
Happy Mother’s Day to all you M.O.M.s out there,
and congratulations to FuzzyPrint
for winning the Make M.O.M. watch Ghost in the Shell Contest!
Disconnect your Bluetooth Headsets, because
Appleseed: Ex Machina is the Greatest Movie EVER!
BONUS CONTENT: Dave’s Adventures in Space! (Podcast Outtakes.)
Thanks go out to Digitalguardian for the following screen-caps, since my copy of the movie is on Blu-Ray.
This movie contains:
The Scourge of All Humanity.
Unlikely Competition.
Deunan’s Hobo Suit.
COMING SOON!
“Isn’t dual-wielding kukris a bit over-kill?”
Punk out your hair-do, because Tank Girl is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Malcom McDowell, a Friendly Man filled with Happy Feelings.
The always lovely Naomi Watts.
Impromptu Musical Numbers.
Ice T as a Mutant Kangaroo.
Oh yeah. Lori Petty’s in it, too.
Although the blood-feud between Katherine and Mom continues,
Ghost Rider is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Matt Long as Young Johnny.
“The Cage” as Fully Grown Johnny.
OMG THEY COULD BE TWINS!
This movie also contains:
Sideburn sporting Emo Devil-babies.
Nicholas Cage, Master Thespian!
COMING SOON!
Obey the Fist.
Despite a compete lack of pie-eating scenes, Sky High is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Kurt Russell in a Muscle Suit.
Angry Pretty Boys.
Bruce doin’ what Bruce does best.
Sexy Evil Overlords in Robot Moon Boots.
This film does not contain:
PIE. (SOOOOOO GOOOOD!)
COMING SOON!
I really mean it, this time!
The podcast is being invaded by Fast Karate, and Appleseed is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER!
This podcast contains:
Sexy Robots.
Various hooved mammals.
Little Moe Pig-Tailed Girls.
Robotic Octopus Tanks.
COMING SOON!
Dirty Lyle has a distaste for truckers…
Due to the incredible pressure brought to bear by “Hollywood” Hunting, The Punisher (2004) is simply a Movie, with no judgement or label attached.
(But it doesn’t have Dolph Lundgren in it. Draw your own conclusions.)
10 Minutes, 29 Seconds In:
John Travolta as Howard Saint.
Not a very convincing villain; perhaps it’s his fashion sense.
10 Minutes, 44 Seconds In:
Harry Heck. He’s walking the line of a ring of fire, because he hurt himself today after shooting a man in Reno just to watch him die.
12 Minutes, 50 Seconds In:
Rebecca Romjin.
Best in roles where she a.) does not talk and b.) karates Wolverine in the face.
13 Minutes, 52 Seconds In:
Ben Foster as Dave. They torture the hell out of him.
But they leave this guy alone?
COMING SOON!
Step off, Priss Asagiri!
Despite featuring Halle Berry in skin-tight leather, Catwoman is the Worst Movie EVER.
7 Minutes, 43 Seconds In:
What the Internet is actually used for…
10 Minutes, 35 Seconds In:
Benjamin Bratt. He’s handsome, but he’s no Mark Dacascos.
11 Minutes, 12 Seconds In:
Sharon Stone plays a washed-up, alcoholic model whose beauty is fading and whose glory days are long since past.
I wonder if you’d call this method-acting?
ZING!
The many faces of Halle Berry:
Cute.
Slimey, but still cute.
Sassy.
On ur rooftops, stealin’ ur laundryz.
Due to unforeseen circumstances beyond even my Mighty control, the Highlander 2: Renegade Version Podcast is hereby postponed until further notice. A multitude of factors went into making this decision, not the least of which: a broken Netflix DVD and various computer hiccups. I also moved into my new apartment (aka “The Pimp Krib”) this week, which is why this podcast is a wee bit late. I am now officially small pimpin’. One day I hope to graduate to medium pimpin’, or — dare I to dream? — big pimpin’.
Anyway…
The Punisher (1989) is the Greatest Movie EVER.
9 Minutes, 48 Seconds In:
The Punisher loves kids.
However…
Kids do not love the Punisher.
15 Minutes In:
WTF?
CLOSING THOUGHT:
I’m not sure I’m comfortable with Tonka’s newest line of remote control trucks…
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 