The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Grab your blood-bucket, because Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky
is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Pretty Boys in Prison.
TRAGEDY.
Mini-Bosses.
ULTRAVIOLENCE.
Religious symbolism.
CLOSING THOUGHT!
I’m so glad this Rude Dude…
…is actually this Foxy Lady.
COMING SOON!
WARNING! INCOMING NINTENDO PROPAGANDA.
Fear the Gooberzilla’s foam-flecked fanboy ravings, because
Transformers: The Movie is the Greatest Movie EVER!
See Also:
This movie contains:
Pink Robots.
AAAAAGH! ROBO-SQUID!!!
He turns into a motorcycle. Please no ‘handlebar’-related jokes.
TRAUMA.
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Where’s Hajime Sorayama when you need him?
COMING SOON:
I think we need to keep reviewing films that are just right for the whole family to consume…
PERFECT!
Strap on your scabbards, adventurers, because
Mazes and Monsters is the Greatest (Worst?) Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Helpful Skeletons. (“Beware the Sacrilege!”)
Crazy people.
Stupid Hats.
FINAL THOUGHT!
I hope that dragon fails its Saving Throw vs Doritos…
COMING SOON!
We’re going to keep this Satanic Death bus a-rollin’
when Chad “Winter” Clayton returns to take a stab at
The Black Cauldron.
Some spoilers ahead, so watch the movie first,
because Jacob’s Ladder is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
SILENT HILL.
SILENT HILL.
SILENT HILL.
ERRATA:
COMING SOON!
Katherine is going to feel my pain…
Packed to the brim with yummy eighties goodness,
The Monster Squad is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Dracula.
The Wolf-Man. (AWOOOOOO!)
The Creature from the Black Lagoon.
The Mummy.
Frankenstein’s Monster.
This movie also contains:
Children with a staunch belief in the Second Amendment.
COMING SOON!
Tim Robbins has issues…
Despite the protests of some sissy zombie-haters,
Slither is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
The rules of Alien Diplomacy.
Tender Alien Romance.
Heroics.
Friendly Zombies.
Despite the presence of Chris Tucker, The Fifth Element is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Tiny Lister, Space President.
Space Ducks.
Space Orcs.
The most annoying man in the galaxy.
Oh, yeah, Milla’s in it, too. (MULTI-PASS!)
COMING SOON!
You know, a little Noxzema could clear that up…
It’s mutant bears all day, every day, in this remarkably family unfriendly film.
That’s right, Prophecy is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Rugged Man-beards.
Dog Bondage.
Armand Assante, Native American!
Owl Bears.
COMING SOON!
Oh noes, more Milla!
For those of you who didn’t get enough Fast Karate this Saturday,
Strange Days is the Greatest Movie EVER.
This podcast contains:
Those Dino-hatin’ outlaws, Dave and Joel.
This movie contains:
The lovely Angela Bassett and the less-than-lovely Juliette Lewis.
This movie also contains:
Fabulous hair-styles.
COMINGS SOON!
“WOLVERINES!”
Not to be confused with its lackluster remake,
Rollerball (1975) is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Cesti. (Oooh, good Vocab word.)
Alfred Hitchcock Impersonators.
Stylin’ Seventies Fashion.
Coma-inducing Concussions.
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 