The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Regardless of Skeletor’s sexual confusion,
Masters of the Universe is the Greatest Movie EVER.
10 Minutes, 31 Seconds In:
Man-at-Arms and Teela, grizzled `76ers line-backer and PETA Activist, respectively.
11 Minutes, 27 Seconds In:
Meg Foster as Evil-Lynn. She’s an uber-hotty.
21 Minutes, 25 Seconds In:
Skeletor in his Sunday-lounge-around-the-throneroom threads.
vs.
Ziggy played guit-a-a-a-ar!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Orco is the Lame Sauce.
Streets of Fire is without argument the Greatest Movie EVER! And this week I’m joined by Daryl and Gerald from AnimeWorldOrder, as well as Steve “Black Choppers” Harrison, to explore this fact.
Please visit Teleport-City and read Keith’s eloquent review of Streets of Fire.
Diane Lane and Michael Pare’ as Ellen Aim and Tom Cody, the star-crossed loves of this Rock & Roll Fable.
7 Minutes, 45 Seconds:
Paxton-ated!
8 Minutes, 48 Seconds In:
When I said Hopper, I meant this.
Not this.
12 Minutes, 34 Seconds In:
Rick Moranis as Billy Fish. He thinks he’s so tough.
24Minutes, 13 Seconds In:
“I wonder what I’m supposed to do with this… “
Why Willem Dafoe deserves an Academy Award:
COMING SOON!
Did I mention I love Dolph Lundgren?
Master of the Flying Guillotine is the Greatest Movie EVER. If you don’t believe me, just ask Snoop Dogg.
Jimmy Wang Yu.
If you see him make this expression, chances are you’ve got on his bad side.
6 Minutes, 37 Seconds In:
The Master of the Flying Guillotine, in his ultra-subtle disguise as a Nazi monk.
9 Minutes, 12 Seconds In:
The Muy Thai Master. Tony Jaa he is not.
13 Minutes, 32 Seconds In:
The Yoga Master, and his pet owl, Hootie.
19 Minutes, 22 Seconds In:
“Duuuuuh? Bamboo dull axe?”
IN CONCLUSION!
Snoop Dogg – much like the Almighty Gooberzilla – has impeccable taste in film.
Well, it doesn’t really involve time travel, but it does have alternate dimensions. And that’s why Super Mario Brothers is the Greatest Movie EVER.
9 Minutes, 29 Seconds In:
Dennis Hopper as Koopa. That’s his real tongue.
10 Minutes, 26 Seconds In:
That’s not big hair?
10 Minutes, 39 Seconds In:
Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo as the Mario Brothers. Chicks dig the `stache.
11 Minutes, 43 Seconds In:
GOOMBA ALERT!
13 Minutes, 48 Seconds In:
It becomes clear that the Almighty Gooberzilla does not know the lingo.
19 Minutes, 50 Seconds In:
Chimps are the epitome of hilarity.
Mortal Kombat is the Greatest Movie EVER. Go out and buy a copy. Heck, buy two: one for you, and one for your Sweet Baboo.
5 Minutes, 0 Seconds In:
Yeah, he looks like a Chinese god to me…
7 Minutes, 15 Seconds In:
Am I hot?
Or not?
14 Minutes, 47 Seconds In:
Tom Dickens, Ravager of Souls!
19 Minutes, 9 Seconds:
I can think of worse ways to die…
Why Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa deserves an Academy Award:
COMING SOON!
Something involving dinosaurs and time travel, something involving Flying Guillotines, or something involving Uwe Boll. ONLY TIME WILL TELL!
Although Mortal Kombat is still Coming Soon, in the mean time (pun-intended) Santa’s Slay is the Greatest Movie EVER!
I’m sure everyone can see now how I could get these two movies confused…
1 Minutes, 51 Seconds In:
Goldberg is one Bad Santa.
2 Minutes, 55 Seconds In:
In addition to the Hell Deer, Santa’s sleigh also has rocket-boosters.
10 Minutes, 10 Seconds In:
Seriously, don’t you see the resemblance?
And with that, we here at the Greatest Movie EVER Podcast wish you Happy Holidays and Feliz Navidad. Until next time, adios amigos!
Anaconda is the Greatest Movie EVER (involving a Giant Snake).
0 Minutes, 36 Seconds In ~ 5 Minutes, 23 Seconds In:
It’s mail-call, yo.
8 Minutes, 0 Seconds In:
J-Lo. She’s TPBSM. (Too Pretty to Be a Scientist.)
9 Minutes, 0 Seconds In:
Jon Voight, the Star of this Picture?
11 Minutes, 25 Seconds In:
“I am sooooooooo relaxed.”
13 Minutes, 28 Seconds In:
The REAL Star of this Picture.
15 Minutes, 52 Seconds In:
Ice Cube is the Baddest Man on the Planet.
COMING SOON!
`Nuff said.
The Lost Empire aka “The Monkey King” is the Greatest Mini-Series EVER. Don’t believe us? Does any other mini-series have…
…Bai Ling as a goddess in disguise?
…Terra cotta warriors?
…Pig-men and humorless monks?
14 Minutes, 17 Seconds In:
Saving Throw vs. Eighties Pop Culture…failed.
15 Minutes, 0 Seconds In:
OH SNAP! A REAL TIGER!
16 Minutes, 14 Seconds In:
In case you can’t tell from the picture, that’s Greg with a fly’s body. Or perhaps a fly with Greg’s head.
FINAL THOUGHT:
Wait a minute…
It’s a trap!!!
COMING SOON!
“Skinnamarinky dinky dink, Skinnamarinky doo, Nemmy luv you!”
In flagrant defiance of all evidence to the contrary, Ultraviolet is the Greatest Movie EVER.
4 Minutes, 37 Seconds In:
Nick Chinlund as Daxus. I love this guy.
8 Minutes, 22 Seconds In:
Cameron Bright as Six. Not quite so loveable.
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Come on, Katherine, the movie wasn’t THAT bad…
COMING SOON!
Wait…what?
The long-promised Commando podcast is finally here, and Commando is the Greatest GREATEST Movie EVER. Featuring Daryl Surat from AnimeWorldOrder, and Dave and Joel from Fast Karate for the Gentleman, this podcast clocks in at just under forty-six and a half minutes, making it the longest podcast yet. But that’s only because it was nigh-impossible to curb Daryl’s enthusiasm for Arnold’s rippling man-muscles.
Arnold-as-Civilian…
Arnold-as-Commando…
I think I see a pattern here.
7 Minutes, 28 Seconds In:
Double-Billing!
Bill Paxton.
Bill Duke.
30 Minutes, 1 Second In:
Invoking his power as the avatar of Raoh, King of Fists, Daryl lays some nerd-slap down upon the Almighty Gooberzilla. But fear not, intrepid listeners. A later slip involving other popular eighties movies allows me to regain face.
38 Minutes, 16 Seconds In:
Why Vernon Wells deserves an Academy Award:
Ah, it’s good to be alive.
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 