Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Hold onto your smuggled shipment of biochips, because Redline is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Tibor Takacs’s answer to Blade Runner. Nuff said.
This movie contains:
Experimental Brain Surgery.
The gun from RoboCop.
Come on, we all know what Virtual Reality would really be used for…
Homoerotic Turkish Baths.
Seriously, Mark, you don’t know where that navel has been…
COMING SOON!
Even more Mark Dacascos goodness in the month of November!
Only the strong could make it this far…
Fire some arrows from horseback, because Nomad: The Warrior is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: A fictionalized account of the life of young Ablai Khan, Nomad is probably the only film you’re likely to see that is both produced by and about the nation of Kazakhstan.
This film contains:
Jason Scott Lee, Wandering Wiseman.
Pointy Hats.
EVEN POINTIER HATS.
COMING SOON!
Even more Mark Dacascos goodness in the month of November.
Hold onto your boots, because Drive is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Badly mishandled in its initial release, Drive is an American action movie with both a great sense of humor and a Hong Kong martial arts flair. Condemned to obscurity by its producers, this film should have made Mark Dacascos and Steve Wang household names.
This movie contains:
FIST BOOTS.
Disgruntled cowboy hitmen with rocket launchers.
Fruity musical numbers.
COMING SOON!
More Mark Dacascos goodness in the month of November!
Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about your mother,
because Blade Runner is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nut-shell: Visually visionary but emotionally distant, Blade Runner is a revolutionary piece of science fiction and its impact on world of film is still felt to this day.
This movie contains:
Harrison Ford, Master of Facial Expressions.
HURRAY FOR UNICORNS!
RealDolls.
Tears in the Rain.
As a special Halloween-themed treat (or is it a trick?), we declare that
Hocus Pocus and Empire of the Ants are the Greatest Movies EVER!
Reviews in a Nutshell: Hocus Pocus has Sarah Jessica Parker as a sorcerous seductress. Empire of the Ants has giant, radioactive ants. What more needs to be said?
These movies (respectively) contain:
ZOMG GIANT ANTS.
SATAN.
Today we celebrate 150 episodes with the Greatest Movie EVER,
better known as Fight Club.
Review in a Nutshell: Mix a healthy portion of post-modern anxiety with a dash of gallows humor and a heaping helping of unapologetic violence, and you have Fight Club, a movie that is more intelligent than the trailers would lead you to believe.
This film contains:
Desperation.
Subliminal Advertising.
Battle Damage.
Gas up the Dune Buggy, because Doomsday is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Imagine a distillation of all the crazy stuff that made eighties action movies so remarkable, now add exploding rabbits and Ren Fair. That’s Doomsday.
This movie contains:
Cybernetic Eyeballs.
Punk Rock Apocalypse Cannibals.
Medieval Knights on Horseback.
Graphical Interface Manipulation Program?
This movie does not contain:
This lady.
COMING SOON:
We need to do something special for episode 150.
Ah, soap. The yardstick of civilization.
In the future Mars is a lot like Epcot, and Cowboy Bebop: Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door
is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: The Cowboy Bebop movie is basically an episode of the TV series extended out to feature film length. Whether that’s its greatest strength or its greatest weakness is a matter of opinion.
Be sure to check out DAPD-DX’s review here and Dave and Joel’s take here.
This movie contains:
The Patented Ed-in-an-Amphora(TM).
Faye Valentine, Being Useless and Getting Kidnapped. (Again.)
Psychotic Villains.
“A man who was living in a dream…”
COMING SOON!
Daryl Surat invades GME! for another round of ‘feeding time at the @#$%ing zoo!’
Don’t try to salvage giant alien robots, because Terror of Mechagodzilla is
The Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: The final entry in the ‘Showa’ Godzilla series, Terror of Mechagodzilla boasts the return of Ishiro Honda and a darker, more somber tone than many previous films. The seriousness is a bit of a mismatch with the silver jumpsuits and the fan-blade butt dinosaurs.
This movie contains:
Mad Scientists.
Cyborg Technology!
Astromen from Outer Space.
ROBOT DINOSAURS.
Just because you’re a Buddhist doesn’t mean you’re not a Master Killer, because
The 36th Chamber of Shaolin is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: This was the break-out role of kung fu legend Gordon Liu. Look for lots of gimmicky training scenes, and lots of surprisingly happy, accommodating Shaolin monks.
This movie contains:
SHAOLIN PIMP CANE.
Three Section Staff in the Hizzie.
HEADBUTT OF DEATH.
That’s all you get this week. I’m off to Anime Weekend Atlanta, where I’ll be involved in the
Otaku USA panel as well as my own production, “Nobody loves GUNHED”, a panel with Tim Eldred.
COMING SOON!
“GRR. ARGH.”
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 