Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Get ready to wave some hippy crystals, because
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within is (definitely not) the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Technically astonishing but emotionally empty, Final Fantasy may have worked better as a video game rather than a full-length theatrical film. A weak plot and cliche characters diminish the power of the film’s extraordinary visuals.
COMING SOON!
“Who put this giant cheese grater in my spaceship?”
Celebrating three years and 175 episodes of pure podcasterization, we break out the oars, because Waterworld is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Dryland is not a myth!
NOTE: I forgot to mention that David Twohy, author of the execrable Chronicles of Riddick, co-wrote the script for Waterworld.
I blame him entirely for all of the excesses in the Extended Cut.
Prepare yourself for creative uses of shrimp forks and chair legs, because Punisher: War Zone is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Punisher: War Zone is undeniably the definitive Punisher film. It distills the best elements of Garth Ennis’s writing into film form, in the process capturing the elusive quality that can only be described as “the comic book feel”.
This movie contains:
Loony Bin Jim.
Jigsaw.
Um…overcompensating, maybe?
CAUTION!
This podcast may contain High Levels of Daryl Surat.
Grease up your Bio-Port, because eXistenZ is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: An inspired and unsettling piece of metafiction, eXistenZ is also a sexually-charged, reality-bending science fiction film. Long live the New Flesh!
This movie contains:
Mutated Amphibians.
Exciting Advances in Game Technology.
Symbolism, maybe?
Ewwwwww! Don’t stick your tongue in my Bio-Port!
EDIT! This podcast contains:
Jeremy, from Destroy All Podcasts DX. I’d insert another witty caption to go with this picture,
but I’m too entranced by the sheer manliness of his passionate bass playing.
Hold onto your hair-plugs, because Alligator is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Humorous and horrific, tightly edited and carefully paced, Alligator is the giant reptile movie that all the others imitate. Accept no substitutes!
This movie contains:
Robert Forster, the World’s Unluckiest Cop.
Henry Silva, Great White Hunter.
Male Pattern Baldness.
Gators Crashin’ Your Garden Party.
Paul may be a bit of a John Woo hater, but Last Hurrah for Chivalry is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Combining manly melodrama with innovative action scenes, Last Hurrah for Chivalry is a kung fu classic. It works equally well when you’re on heavy medication, too.
Sleeping Wizard, or Snoopy?
Aerial Sword-Swinging Silliness.
Manly Emotions!
Beware of stock footage in the swamp, because Bride of the Monster is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: This movie contains Wood-en acting, lousy sets, rubber animals, and a veritable cavalcade of absurdities. I love it dearly.
This movie also contains:
SCIENCE!
Shaved Yetis.
Atomic Monsters?
Strap on your explosion-proof T-shirt, because The Marine is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: The Marine is a throwback to an earlier era in action movies, when the heroes were nigh-invulnerable and the mayhem was constant. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
This photo demonstrates both John Cena’s incredible ‘Angry Face’ and his initiative in creative war-paint design.
Don’t eat the cotton candy, because Killer Klowns from Outer Space is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This episode features special guest host Luke “Sasquatch” White.
Review in a Nutshell: Equal parts bad puns and great make-up effects, Killer Klowns from Outer Space deserves every ounce of its cult film cred. Come for the Chiodos, stay for the Klowns.
This movie contains:
Killer Klowns.
Pizza.
Double Secret Probation.
No, it’s not an obscure but terrifying poetic form, it’s Q, the Winged Serpent, the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: This movies is BAD. Really, really bad. No, I’m serious. It’s bad. Even the presence of David Carradine and Richard Roundtree cannot salvage this film.
On the plus side, Claymation dragon-dinosaur.
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 