Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Hold on to your fishing hats, because Paycheck is the Worst Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
MIND LASERS.
Fisherman Hats.
Mexican Stand-Offs.
And that brings an end to the Big Month of Dick. Thanks for listening!
Which makes me wonder what is COMING SOON?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Don’t have a schizoid embolism, because Total Recall is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
MISOGYNY.
Prosthetic Heads.
WAY COOL CG!
The Future Mrs. Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.
COMING SOON!
Chicks dig dudes with good skills.
Trust nobody, because Impostor is the Greatest Movie EVER!
(And also the Worst Movie EVER!)
This movie contains:
Gary Sinise.
Vincent D’Onofrio.
Torture.
(Er, I mean “Geneva Convention Sanctioned Interrogation Techniques.”)
PARANOIA.
Keith David Impersonators.
Big Mutherin’ Explosions.
COMING SOON!
Turtle Recall?
If only we could have foreseen
that Next is the Worst Movie EVER.
This movie contains:
The Cage.
The Cage.
The Cage.
Oh yeah. Jessica Biel is in it, too.
This movie does not contain:
Golden Men.
COMING SOON!
I bet those groin-seeking lasers are making Spencer Olham a trifle nervous…
My brain may be muddled, but is A Scanner Darkly
the Greatest Movie EVER?
This film contains:
DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS.
Paranoia.
Burned-out Hippies.
Keanu.
Alien Weirdos.
COMING SOON!
The Cage wonders what might be coming Next…
It begins with scream, not a whimper
because Screamers is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Peter Weller, a king among actors.
Fragile people in bad situations.
Knife-licking Psychos.
TRUE LOVE?
UNDEAD ROBOT DINOSAURS FROM HELL.
Next up on the Big Month of Dick…
Keanu has had better days…
The Big Week of (Philip K.) Dick commences October1,
but in the meantime Dead or Alive is the Worst (Meh-est?) Movie EVER!
NOTE: If the show sounds a little static-filled this time around, it’s because I forgot to recalibrate my mixer after lending it to Daryl Surat during Anime Weekend Atlanta. I’ve fixed the problem; it shouldn’t happen again. (I sent the DVD back to Netflix without capturing any screens or sound effects, so here are some images swiped from Google Imagesearch.)
This film contains:
Purple Hair! (Thanks, IGN!)
Girl Fights!
CHEESECAKE.
COMING SOON!
“The Second Variety? I thought this was RoboCop 2…”
Monitor your greenhouse gas emissions, because
Solar Attack is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
An Angry Mr. Sun.
Lou Gossett Jr, President of the USA.
\
Nuclear Wessels.
SUPER SCIENCE!
COMING SOON!
Philip K. in the Hizzie!
(Special thanks to LCom for designing our banner.)
Buckle on your Power Glove, because
The Wizard is the Greatest (Worst?) Movie EVER!
This film contains:
NINTENDO PROPAGANDA.
NINTENDO PROPAGANDA.
Morons.
Pedophiles.
COMING SOON!
A movie with Dr. Mark Dacascos and President Lou Gossett Jr
facing off against an Angry Mr. Sun.
Grab your blood-bucket, because Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky
is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Pretty Boys in Prison.
TRAGEDY.
Mini-Bosses.
ULTRAVIOLENCE.
Religious symbolism.
CLOSING THOUGHT!
I’m so glad this Rude Dude…
…is actually this Foxy Lady.
COMING SOON!
WARNING! INCOMING NINTENDO PROPAGANDA.
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 