“Ninjas riding Polar Bears fighting Dinosaurs with Russians.”

The Greatest Movie EVER?

Serenity is a Movie, all right. It may be the Greatest Movie EVER, but I didn’t like it,

and Sean and Katherine deliver the appropriate savaging.

This film contains:

My Second Least Favorite Character

Too much River.

My two favorite characters.

Not enough Mal and Jayne.

Not Love, Actually.

A nice amount of Charming Assassins.

CLOSING THOUGHT!

Han Solo?

Nate Fillion is the Man.

COMING SOON!

Kanedaaaaaaaaa!

“You can’t hurt me with your pathetic Mind-Bullets!”

Neither Tony Stark nor Ozzy Osbourne.

The Greatest Movie EVER!

To heck with Shrek, The Iron Giant is The Greatest Movie EVER!

This episode features special guest host, Chad “Winter” Clayton.

His home-page, The Dead of Winter, can be found in the Blogroll side widget.

A BRIEF GUIDE

TO UNDERSTANDING THE EXPRESSIONS

OF YOUR GIANT METAL FRIENDS:

What you say?

Quizzical.

Uh oh.

Concerned.

Murderous Rage.

(NOTE: You probably want to avoid encountering this last one.)

 

COMING SOON!

Serenity Now, Insanity Later.

Can you stop the Signal?

His Royal Badness.

The Greatest Movie EVER!

Prince is the bomb-diggity, and Purple Rain is the Greatest Movie EVER!

This film contains:

Apollonia

Apollonia, not Vanity.

Prince loves his puppets.

Prince playing with puppets.

Morris Day knows what time it is.

Morris Day and Al Sharpton Impersonators.

Sunglasses of Ultimate Power!

Impeccable Eighties Fashion Sense.

400 Blows, eat your heart out.

The Greatest Freeze-Frame in Cinema History.

 

COMING SOON!

Guess who?

What’s big and metallic and voiced by Vin Diesel?

Join me and special guest host Chad “Winter” Clayton to find out.

A Techno-Organic Onion.

The Greatest Movie EVER!

Brenda Bakke is smokin’ hot, and Gunhed is the Greatest Movie EVER!

EDIT:  I forgot to mention that this episode features guest hosts Steve Harrison and Tim Eldred, a motley pair of treasure hunters.

This film contains:

I'll tell you later...

Carrots.

Gunhed, Standing Mode.

Gunhed, Standing Mode.

Gunhed, Tank Mode.

Gunhed, Tank Mode.

CLOSING THOUGHT: How to Design a Bioroid!

Bioroid.

+

Robot Monster.

=

Brilliant!

 

COMING SOON!

Lake Minnetonka.

Yes, those are the cleansing waters of Lake Minnetonka.

I wonder what color the rain is there?

Karate Hippies vs Space Roaches

Godzilla vs Gigan, the Greatest Movie EVER!

Despite the fact that you could defeat the bad guys with a large can of Raid(TM),

Godzilla vs Gigan is the Greatest Movie EVER!

This movie features:

Gigan!

Gigan, Scourge of Space!

(In retrospect, it probably was a poor choice of words

to describe Gigan using the phrase “chicken-head”.)

Anguirus!

Anguirus, the poor man's Gamera.

We root for the under-dog!

Also featuring:

Don't point that thing at me, buddy.

Corn-wielding Hippies!

SPAAAAAAAAACE ROACH.

Space Roaches!

And of, course…

Godzilla?

The Showa Era Godzilla!

CLOSING THOUGHT!

Get mean for Akira!

Don’t forget to show your support for forcing Mom to watch Akira.