Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Monitor your greenhouse gas emissions, because
Solar Attack is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
An Angry Mr. Sun.
Lou Gossett Jr, President of the USA.
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Nuclear Wessels.
SUPER SCIENCE!
COMING SOON!
Philip K. in the Hizzie!
(Special thanks to LCom for designing our banner.)
Buckle on your Power Glove, because
The Wizard is the Greatest (Worst?) Movie EVER!
This film contains:
NINTENDO PROPAGANDA.
NINTENDO PROPAGANDA.
Morons.
Pedophiles.
COMING SOON!
A movie with Dr. Mark Dacascos and President Lou Gossett Jr
facing off against an Angry Mr. Sun.
Grab your blood-bucket, because Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky
is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Pretty Boys in Prison.
TRAGEDY.
Mini-Bosses.
ULTRAVIOLENCE.
Religious symbolism.
CLOSING THOUGHT!
I’m so glad this Rude Dude…
…is actually this Foxy Lady.
COMING SOON!
WARNING! INCOMING NINTENDO PROPAGANDA.
Fear the Gooberzilla’s foam-flecked fanboy ravings, because
Transformers: The Movie is the Greatest Movie EVER!
See Also:
This movie contains:
Pink Robots.
AAAAAGH! ROBO-SQUID!!!
He turns into a motorcycle. Please no ‘handlebar’-related jokes.
TRAUMA.
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Where’s Hajime Sorayama when you need him?
COMING SOON:
I think we need to keep reviewing films that are just right for the whole family to consume…
PERFECT!
Astonishingly mediocre, The Black Cauldron may just be
The Greatest Worst Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Generic Heroes.
The Frog / Cleavage Scene.
SATAN.
COMING SOON!
“Optimus, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
Strap on your scabbards, adventurers, because
Mazes and Monsters is the Greatest (Worst?) Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Helpful Skeletons. (“Beware the Sacrilege!”)
Crazy people.
Stupid Hats.
FINAL THOUGHT!
I hope that dragon fails its Saving Throw vs Doritos…
COMING SOON!
We’re going to keep this Satanic Death bus a-rollin’
when Chad “Winter” Clayton returns to take a stab at
The Black Cauldron.
Some spoilers ahead, so watch the movie first,
because Jacob’s Ladder is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
SILENT HILL.
SILENT HILL.
SILENT HILL.
ERRATA:
COMING SOON!
Katherine is going to feel my pain…
Packed to the brim with yummy eighties goodness,
The Monster Squad is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Dracula.
The Wolf-Man. (AWOOOOOO!)
The Creature from the Black Lagoon.
The Mummy.
Frankenstein’s Monster.
This movie also contains:
Children with a staunch belief in the Second Amendment.
COMING SOON!
Tim Robbins has issues…
Despite the protests of some sissy zombie-haters,
Slither is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
The rules of Alien Diplomacy.
Tender Alien Romance.
Heroics.
Friendly Zombies.
Despite the presence of Chris Tucker, The Fifth Element is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Tiny Lister, Space President.
Space Ducks.
Space Orcs.
The most annoying man in the galaxy.
Oh, yeah, Milla’s in it, too. (MULTI-PASS!)
COMING SOON!
You know, a little Noxzema could clear that up…
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 