Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Punk out your hair-do, because Tank Girl is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Malcom McDowell, a Friendly Man filled with Happy Feelings.
The always lovely Naomi Watts.
Impromptu Musical Numbers.
Ice T as a Mutant Kangaroo.
Oh yeah. Lori Petty’s in it, too.
Strap on your plastic educators, because Forbidden Planet is
The Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Flying Saucers.
Leslie Nielsen, Space Commando.
Sirens from Beyond the Stars.
Invisible Monsters. (You can’t see it. It’s invisible.)
FALSE ADVERTISING!
COMING SOON!
Celebrating 101 and consecutive podcasts, we’re bringing it for real, yo.
Because the Almighty Gooberzilla never goes back on his word,
Love Actually is the Worst Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Nebbishness.
NEBBISHNESS.
NEBBISHNESS.
COMING SOON!
We’re going to wash the taste of this lukewarm treacle out of our collective mouths
with the help of damsels, robots, and a maverick cowboy samurai from Miami…
Hold on to your fishing hats, because Paycheck is the Worst Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
MIND LASERS.
Fisherman Hats.
Mexican Stand-Offs.
And that brings an end to the Big Month of Dick. Thanks for listening!
Which makes me wonder what is COMING SOON?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Don’t have a schizoid embolism, because Total Recall is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
MISOGYNY.
Prosthetic Heads.
WAY COOL CG!
The Future Mrs. Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.
COMING SOON!
Chicks dig dudes with good skills.
Trust nobody, because Impostor is the Greatest Movie EVER!
(And also the Worst Movie EVER!)
This movie contains:
Gary Sinise.
Vincent D’Onofrio.
Torture.
(Er, I mean “Geneva Convention Sanctioned Interrogation Techniques.”)
PARANOIA.
Keith David Impersonators.
Big Mutherin’ Explosions.
COMING SOON!
Turtle Recall?
If only we could have foreseen
that Next is the Worst Movie EVER.
This movie contains:
The Cage.
The Cage.
The Cage.
Oh yeah. Jessica Biel is in it, too.
This movie does not contain:
Golden Men.
COMING SOON!
I bet those groin-seeking lasers are making Spencer Olham a trifle nervous…
My brain may be muddled, but is A Scanner Darkly
the Greatest Movie EVER?
This film contains:
DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS.
Paranoia.
Burned-out Hippies.
Keanu.
Alien Weirdos.
COMING SOON!
The Cage wonders what might be coming Next…
It begins with scream, not a whimper
because Screamers is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Peter Weller, a king among actors.
Fragile people in bad situations.
Knife-licking Psychos.
TRUE LOVE?
UNDEAD ROBOT DINOSAURS FROM HELL.
Next up on the Big Month of Dick…
Keanu has had better days…
The Big Week of (Philip K.) Dick commences October1,
but in the meantime Dead or Alive is the Worst (Meh-est?) Movie EVER!
NOTE: If the show sounds a little static-filled this time around, it’s because I forgot to recalibrate my mixer after lending it to Daryl Surat during Anime Weekend Atlanta. I’ve fixed the problem; it shouldn’t happen again. (I sent the DVD back to Netflix without capturing any screens or sound effects, so here are some images swiped from Google Imagesearch.)
This film contains:
Purple Hair! (Thanks, IGN!)
Girl Fights!
CHEESECAKE.
COMING SOON!
“The Second Variety? I thought this was RoboCop 2…”
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 