The Merry Adventures of Tito and The Wolfman

Zip up those yellow jumpsuits, because Turkey Shoot is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Oliver from the Welcome to the Brain Palace Podcast.

Review in a Nutshell:  An inexplicable mash-up of “women in prison” and “most dangerous game” films, Turkey Shoot is alternatively considered the apex and the nadir of Australian exploitation film.

This movie contains:

Friendly Fascists.

An Arrow Through the Mouth.

A Dapper Wolfman.

Not to be confused with Werewolf Women of the S.S.

Break out the flea collars, because Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf is The Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring special guest host Keith Allison from Teleport City.

Review in a Nutshell:  Featuring titanium bullets, new wave rockers, and an eight thousand year old werewolf matriarch, Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf is a stupifyingly terrible film.  It’s the cinematic equivalent of being hit in the helmet by a morningstar-wielding midget.  Watch it with someone you love.

This movie contains:

Christopher Lee in Raver Shades.

Black Magic.

Force Lightning.

Ugly American Tourism.

“Werewolves Kick the @#$% out of Vampires, Part 1”

Break out the repeating crossbows, because Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or movie title above to download our review of the film.

Review in a Nutshell: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is the best of the Underworld series, mostly because it riffs on Lord of the Rings rather than The Matrix.  Also, this time the vampires finally get what’s coming to them.

This movie contains:

Ugly Vampires.

Scruffy Werewolves.

‘Unconfirmed’ Kills.

Beware of Dog

Watch for the Werewolf Break, because The Beast Must Die is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell: The Beast Must Die is a quirky hybrid of murder mystery and werewolf movie with a stellar cast that was filmed at the beautiful Shepperton Studios in England. The film’s salient features are the Werewolf Break and the fact that the werewolf was played by a large, fluffy dog.

This movie contains:

Ground Mics!

Obnoxious House Guests.

Dog on the roof. DOG ON THE ROOF!

Exploding Helicopters.

Bad Moon, or Bad Touch?

Blame it on the family dog, because Bad Moon is the Greatest Movie EVER!

This movie contains:

Faithful Family Pets.

Nasty Werewolves.

Creepy Uncles.

FINAL THOUGHT:

This is not the expression I would make in reaction to an impending Werewolf mauling.

“Wolfman’s got Nards.”

The Greatest Movie EVER!

Packed to the brim with yummy eighties goodness,

The Monster Squad is the Greatest Movie EVER!

This movie contains:

Dracula is a Pimp.

Dracula.

Hair Face Chippendale?

The Wolf-Man. (AWOOOOOO!)

Ignatius T. Gillman, Esq.

The Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Insert 'Mummy' Pun here.

The Mummy.

Kodak is bogus?

Frankenstein’s Monster.

This movie also contains:

My role model.

Don't mess with Fat Kid.

Children with a staunch belief in the Second Amendment.

COMING SOON!
Tim Robbins in Jacob's Ladder

Tim Robbins has issues…

Tarzanhelsing!

The Greatest Worst Movie EVER!

Despite it’s lack of both plot and character, Van Helsing is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER.

This film contains:

Not appearing in this film.

Mysterious Strangers…

He's super.  Thanks for asking.

Gay Werewolves…

DR 100 / anything

Practical Combat Outfits!

 

CLOSING THOUGHT!

Hit it in its Weak-Spot for Massive Damage!

When all else fails, Recycle!

Underworld: Evolution is the Worst Movie EVER. It’s even worse than the original Underworld, which was also the Worst Movie EVER. So it’s the worst of the worst. Not to be confused with the worst of the wurst, because even bad wurst is good wurst.

In all honesty, this episode was recorded quite some time ago. I was saving it for a rainy day, and since I spent this last weekend traveling to Miami and back to help my good friend Eddy prepare for Carousel, I’ve been too swamped to record another podcast. But fear not, intrepid listeners, we have more good stuff coming down the pipe in the near future!

Being a brief illustration of what werewolves should look like:

This is the “Crinos” form,
as per Werewolf: The Apocalypse from White Wolf Games.


This is what the werewolves in Underworld: Evolution resemble.

`Nuff said.

Attack of the Lichens!

Another week has gone by, and with it comes another Podcast, featuring a review of the execrable Underworld, a piece of sentient cinematic slime that oozed its way out of the primordial soup and permanently into the consciousness of the Almighty Gooberzilla. Seriously, this film is a sore on my brain. Watch it at your own peril.