Eraserhead is the Greatest Movie EVER!
(We hope to review it some day.)
Good night, Seatle!
Expectations Destroyed.
Destroy all expectations, because Mortal Kombat: Annihilation is the Worst Movie EVER!
This film contains:
Villains with Choice Hats.
Ninjas. (Suddenly, hundreds of them.)
Red Hot Undead Mamas.
Touching Drama!
Kung Fu-wielding Dragons.
And speaking of Dragons…
COMING SOON!
Somebody call Stromnir!
Tarzanhelsing!
Despite it’s lack of both plot and character, Van Helsing is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER.
This film contains:
Mysterious Strangers…
Gay Werewolves…
Practical Combat Outfits!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Hit it in its Weak-Spot for Massive Damage!
Obligatory ‘Bad Dudes’ Reference.
April 1st comes early, and XXX: State of the Union is the Greatest Movie EVER.
This film contains:
Ice Cube…
…Master of Disguise!
Also featuring:
Tanks!
Lots and Lots of Explosions.
NOTE:
Riddick not appearing in this Episode.
Karate Hippies vs Space Roaches
Despite the fact that you could defeat the bad guys with a large can of Raid(TM),
Godzilla vs Gigan is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie features:
Gigan!
(In retrospect, it probably was a poor choice of words
to describe Gigan using the phrase “chicken-head”.)
Anguirus!
We root for the under-dog!
Also featuring:
Corn-wielding Hippies!
Space Roaches!
And of, course…
The Showa Era Godzilla!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Don’t forget to show your support for forcing Mom to watch Akira.
Return of the Black Hole of Awesomeness.
Despite the fact that Mom picked it out, Trespass is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This film is all about:
Bill Paxton!
Ice T!
And Ice Cube, yo!
(Also featuring Tom “Tiny” Lister.)
Robert Van Winkle not appearing in this episode.
Milla Jovovich Must be Stopped.
Hands down, The Million Dollar Hotel is the Worst Movie EVER!
In fact, the film was so bad, I didn’t want to slog through it a third time hunting for screen-caps.
So here’s a couple pics I stole off of Google Image Search:
Milla Jovovich and Jeremy Davies as Eloise and TomTom, respectively.
They hail from the Land of Bad Haircuts.
This film makes Kitty sad. 😦
Ziggy Stardust and the Lonely Deaths of Lizard-Men.
Regardless of Skeletor’s sexual confusion,
Masters of the Universe is the Greatest Movie EVER.
10 Minutes, 31 Seconds In:
Man-at-Arms and Teela, grizzled `76ers line-backer and PETA Activist, respectively.
11 Minutes, 27 Seconds In:
Meg Foster as Evil-Lynn. She’s an uber-hotty.
21 Minutes, 25 Seconds In:
Skeletor in his Sunday-lounge-around-the-throneroom threads.
vs.
Ziggy played guit-a-a-a-ar!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Orco is the Lame Sauce.
Tonight is What it Means to be Young
Streets of Fire is without argument the Greatest Movie EVER! And this week I’m joined by Daryl and Gerald from AnimeWorldOrder, as well as Steve “Black Choppers” Harrison, to explore this fact.
Please visit Teleport-City and read Keith’s eloquent review of Streets of Fire.
Diane Lane and Michael Pare’ as Ellen Aim and Tom Cody, the star-crossed loves of this Rock & Roll Fable.
7 Minutes, 45 Seconds:
Paxton-ated!
8 Minutes, 48 Seconds In:
When I said Hopper, I meant this.
Not this.
12 Minutes, 34 Seconds In:
Rick Moranis as Billy Fish. He thinks he’s so tough.
24Minutes, 13 Seconds In:
“I wonder what I’m supposed to do with this… “
Why Willem Dafoe deserves an Academy Award:
COMING SOON!
Did I mention I love Dolph Lundgren?
Ultra-realistic / Too Comic-Booky?
Due to the incredible pressure brought to bear by “Hollywood” Hunting, The Punisher (2004) is simply a Movie, with no judgement or label attached.
(But it doesn’t have Dolph Lundgren in it. Draw your own conclusions.)
10 Minutes, 29 Seconds In:
John Travolta as Howard Saint.
Not a very convincing villain; perhaps it’s his fashion sense.
10 Minutes, 44 Seconds In:
Harry Heck. He’s walking the line of a ring of fire, because he hurt himself today after shooting a man in Reno just to watch him die.
12 Minutes, 50 Seconds In:
Rebecca Romjin.
Best in roles where she a.) does not talk and b.) karates Wolverine in the face.
13 Minutes, 52 Seconds In:
Ben Foster as Dave. They torture the hell out of him.
But they leave this guy alone?
COMING SOON!
Step off, Priss Asagiri!
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 