The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
As a special Halloween-themed treat (or is it a trick?), we declare that
Hocus Pocus and Empire of the Ants are the Greatest Movies EVER!
Reviews in a Nutshell: Hocus Pocus has Sarah Jessica Parker as a sorcerous seductress. Empire of the Ants has giant, radioactive ants. What more needs to be said?
These movies (respectively) contain:
ZOMG GIANT ANTS.
SATAN.
Watch out for crows with stalker tendencies,
because The Secret of NIMH is the Greatest Movie EVER.
Review in a Nutshell: A technically masterful work of animation by Don Bluth and company, the Secret of NIMH is hampered only by the inclusion of certain inexplicable mystical elements. As a bonus, it’s also guaranteed to traumatize the kiddies with frightening images of danger and death.
No screencaps this time. I watched the movie through Netflix’s ‘Watch Instantly’ streaming video service.
Don’t drink the amber rum, because The Devil’s Backbone is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: The Devil’s Backbone is a Gothic tale of injustice and inevitability set during the Spanish Civil War. Think of it as a primer for Pan’s Labyrinth, with less magic, more realism, and no Doug Jones.
This movie contains:
Inappropriate Relationships.
Friendly Ghosts.
Burn Victims.
Savage Children.
COMING SOON!
Mom and I take a crack at The Beast Must Die. Watch for the Werewolf Break!
Strap on your fur bikini, because One Million Years BC
is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
GIANT IGUANA.
Child-Eating Allosaurus.
THE SAVAGE SEA TURTLE!
Oh, yeah. Raquel Welch is in there, too.
Cuddle up with a cute half-orc man slave,
because Dungeons & Dragons: Wrath of the Dragon God
is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
OH SNAP! A MIGHTY KRAKEN!
Champagne Villains.
BARBARIAN RAGE!
FINAL THOUGHT:
Undertones!
COMING SOON!
“GRRR! ARGH!”
Abobo can’t drive, and Double Dragon is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
Awesome Hair.
AWESOME HAIR.
Fuzzy Memories.
ERRATA:
I got Michael Berryman’s name wrong. Sorry, Michael!
COMING SOON!
The Month of Mark Dacascos gets preempted for a very special Mother’s Day.
Enlist the aid of the Greek pantheon, because
Clash of the Titans is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER!
This movie contains:
MIND LASERS!
Horrendous Eighties Hair.
Horrifying Mechanical Abominations from the Stygian Pits of Gehenna.
Misappropriated Norwegian Monsters.
Did I mention Horrendous Hair?
What’s COMING SOON?
@#$%ing False Advertising, That’s What!
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 