The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
The podcast is being invaded by Fast Karate, and Appleseed is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER!
This podcast contains:
Sexy Robots.
Various hooved mammals.
Little Moe Pig-Tailed Girls.
Robotic Octopus Tanks.
COMING SOON!
Dirty Lyle has a distaste for truckers…
Despite Mom’s waffling, Akira is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click here to see the winning entry in the “Make Mom Watch Akira” Contest.
Congratulations, Alain Mendez!
The new opening / closing music is an original piece called “I’m Real” by Violence Mars.
Click here for the full-length MP3. And click here to visit Violence Mars’s mySpace page.
COMING SOON!
OH NOES! We’re being invaded through the Interwebs!
Serenity is a Movie, all right. It may be the Greatest Movie EVER, but I didn’t like it,
and Sean and Katherine deliver the appropriate savaging.
This film contains:
Too much River.
Not enough Mal and Jayne.
A nice amount of Charming Assassins.
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Nate Fillion is the Man.
COMING SOON!
“You can’t hurt me with your pathetic Mind-Bullets!”
To heck with Shrek, The Iron Giant is The Greatest Movie EVER!
This episode features special guest host, Chad “Winter” Clayton.
His home-page, The Dead of Winter, can be found in the Blogroll side widget.
A BRIEF GUIDE
TO UNDERSTANDING THE EXPRESSIONS
OF YOUR GIANT METAL FRIENDS:
Quizzical.
Concerned.
Murderous Rage.
(NOTE: You probably want to avoid encountering this last one.)
COMING SOON!
Can you stop the Signal?
Brenda Bakke is smokin’ hot, and Gunhed is the Greatest Movie EVER!
EDIT: I forgot to mention that this episode features guest hosts Steve Harrison and Tim Eldred, a motley pair of treasure hunters.
This film contains:
Carrots.
Gunhed, Standing Mode.
Gunhed, Tank Mode.
CLOSING THOUGHT: How to Design a Bioroid!
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COMING SOON!
Yes, those are the cleansing waters of Lake Minnetonka.
I wonder what color the rain is there?
Despite the fact that you could defeat the bad guys with a large can of Raid(TM),
Godzilla vs Gigan is the Greatest Movie EVER!
This movie features:
Gigan!
(In retrospect, it probably was a poor choice of words
to describe Gigan using the phrase “chicken-head”.)
Anguirus!
We root for the under-dog!
Also featuring:
Corn-wielding Hippies!
Space Roaches!
And of, course…
The Showa Era Godzilla!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Don’t forget to show your support for forcing Mom to watch Akira.
Regardless of Skeletor’s sexual confusion,
Masters of the Universe is the Greatest Movie EVER.
10 Minutes, 31 Seconds In:
Man-at-Arms and Teela, grizzled `76ers line-backer and PETA Activist, respectively.
11 Minutes, 27 Seconds In:
Meg Foster as Evil-Lynn. She’s an uber-hotty.
21 Minutes, 25 Seconds In:
Skeletor in his Sunday-lounge-around-the-throneroom threads.
vs.
Ziggy played guit-a-a-a-ar!
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Orco is the Lame Sauce.
Despite its mad, l33t catering skillz, A Sound of Thunder is the Worst Movie EVER.
2 Minutes, 5 Seconds In:
Sir Ben Kingsley in a truly horrendous wig. Note also the champagne fountain.
9 Minutes, 0 Seconds In:
BABOONASAURUSES! BA-BOON-A-SAURUSES!
10 Minutes, 45 Seconds In:
A city-scape scene in A Sound of Thunder. Note how obviously blue-screened the background is…
12 Minutes, 24 Seconds In:
It’s a bad sign when your Allosaurus Ice Sculpture looks better than your Allosaurus. Also, caterers get no love.
COMING SOON!
Next time, assuming no cataclysmic space-time catastrophes interfere and we actually get the bloody show recorded, we hope to take a stab at this:
Stab. Bloody. Get it?
We’re (un)dead serious when we say that Resident Evil: Apocalypse is the Worst Movie EVER. I guess our chief criticism is the movie tries to be like the game, and it fails. This wouldn’t be as much of a problem if the game wasn’t so silly in the first place…
6 Minutes, 31 Seconds In:
In think Isaac Newton himself said it was physically impossible to bungee-jump out of a helicopter while dual-wielding Berettas…
7 Minutes, 10 Seconds In:
Milla loves her machine-pistols.
8 Minutes, 42 Seconds In:
The lonely death of Nikolai.
21 Minutes, 5 Seconds In:
Nemmy need hug?
COMING SOON!
A huge snake…but NOT also poisonous.
In flagrant defiance of all evidence to the contrary, Ultraviolet is the Greatest Movie EVER.
4 Minutes, 37 Seconds In:
Nick Chinlund as Daxus. I love this guy.
8 Minutes, 22 Seconds In:
Cameron Bright as Six. Not quite so loveable.
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Come on, Katherine, the movie wasn’t THAT bad…
COMING SOON!
Wait…what?
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 