Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Break out the gas cannisters and the net-guns, because The Green Slime is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring the return of M.O.M.!
Review in a Nutshell: The Green Slime has got giant meteors menacing the Earth, ungodly alien monsters, and leggy fashion models in silver jumpsuits. What more do you want?
This movie contains:
Space Disco.
Awful Green Things from Outer Space.
The Somber Thumbs-Up of Victory.
Hide your secret decoder rings, because The Shadow is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherine the Great.
Review in a Nutshell: Similar to films such as The Phantom and The Rocketeer, The Shadow is a period adventure film featuring action, romance, and a nice sense of style. Some of the CG special effects haven’t aged so well, but the movie is still fun for children of all ages.
This movie contains:
Alec Baldwin as Fu Manchu.
The man responsible for Mongolian Barbeque.
Psychic Knives.
Invisible Skyscrapers. (You can’t see it. It’s invisible.)
This movie does not contain:
David Bowie’s Codpiece.
Everybody loves kung fu fighting, and Kung Fu Panda is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.
Review in a Nutshell: Combining humor, heart, and heroism, Kung Fu Panda is a great kung fu movie with a positive message. Don’t let the advertising fool you; there’s plenty of action, character development, and hilarity to be found here.
Don your snazzy wizard hat, because The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film,
featuring guest host Daryl “I’m not Here to Make any Friends” Surat from AnimeWorldOrder.
(Also, I guest star on their most recent episode!)
Review in a Nutshell: The story is a bit trite, but The Sorcerer’s Apprentice stands on the strength of its special effects, its wizard fights, and Nic Cage’s bodacious fashion sense. As family friendly films go, it’s an enjoyable little romp.
This movie contains:
Nerds getting Picked On.
Dapper Doctor Octopus.
Mind Explosion?
Nic Cage as Himself.
And thus we bring Cage Rage: The Year of the Cage to a close. It’s been a bumpy ride. But fear not, brave listeners, as long as hope survives, there will always be more Cage to go around.
Watch out for pirates, gangsters, and Tibetan monks, because The Quest is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.
Review in a Nutshell: Essentially Bloodsport retold in the 1920s, The Quest is Jean-Claude Van Damme’s directorial debut. It’s a fun but flawed film which includes Roger Moore, elephants, and boatloads of inadvertent homoerotic subtext.
Inflate your intertubes and break out the beach chairs, because Piranha (1978) is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring a rather traumatized Katherine the Great.
Review in a Nutshell: Despite a derivative plot and a low budget, Piranha is a remarkably effective horror movie certain to thrill and delight. It’s still able to make poor Katherine squirm.
This movie contains:
Drunken Protagonists.
Mad Scientists.
Evil, Fish Geneticist Girlfriends.
WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT!?!
Buckle up for another double-feature, because Con Air and The Rock are the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the image or the movie titles above to download our reviews of the films, featuring another invasion from Dave and Joel from Fast Karate for the Gentleman.
Review in a Nutshell: These films are dumb. Really, really dumb. But at least Nicolas Cage has great hair.
Unsheath those claws, because we’re serving up a double-header of the Greatest Movie EVER!
First, X-men Origins: Wolverine may not be the Greatest Movie EVER, but at least Logan’s hair looks fabulous.
And second, X-men III: The Last Stand will make your inner nerd whimper for mercy.
Click on the movie titles above to download our reviews of the films, featuring a very heart-broken Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.
Wax up your surf boards, because Surf Ninjas is The Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting and his Ernie Reyes Jr fetish.
Review in a Nutshell: A goofy premise, good action choreography, and jokes that work more often than not make Surf Ninjas a surprisingly entertaining film. All that and it has Leslie Nielsen getting crushed by an elephant, too.
This movie contains:
Ernie Reyes Jr.
Ernie Reyes Sr.
Cyborg Samurai Leslie Nielsen.
Gnash your teeth in agony, because Cool World is definitely not the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest cohost Gerald Rathkolb from AnimeWorldOrder.
Review in a Nutshell: Crippled by a wretched script, bad performances, and a non-stop deluge of animated nonsense, Cool World mutates from an interesting premise into a movie so bad that even its creator has disowned it. It’s almost enough to make me feel sorry for Bakshi for foisting this kind of film upon the viewers of the world. Almost.
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 