Cage Rage: Face / Off

Break out the matched pistols, because Face / Off is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring Daryl Surat of AnimeWorldOrder and Ken Nabbe, aka the Internet’s Joey Snackpants.

Review in a Nutshell:  Face / Off is the American film that best showcases John Woo’s eccentricities and directorial flourishes.  Whether that’s a complement or a criticism depends on how you feel about John Woo.

The movie contains:

The Mustache of Champions.

Crazy Cage Face.

Likewise.

A Box of Treasures.

Oh yeah, there’s something about face transplants, too.

We Live to Rock!

Get ready to tune your weapons, because Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film.

Review in a Nutshell:  Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare is an astounding combination of eighties metal, demonic horror, and a third secret ingredient that makes this movie a low-budget mind-blower.  Do not miss this film!

ERRATA:  Jon Mikl Thor was in a movie called Zombie Nightmare, not “Zombie Massacre”, and he was on the Merv Griffin Show, not the Johnny Carson Show.  We needed to clear that up.

This film contains:

The Eighties.

WTF?

FINAL THOUGHT:

WE LIVE TO ROCK!

Cage Rage: Honeymoon in Vegas

What happens in Vegas stays in Hawaii, because Honeymoon in Vegas is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring the return of GME! original co-host, Katherine the Great.

Review in a Nutshell:  Properly channeled, Nic Cage’s manic energy makes for surprisingly funny comedic viewing.  Honeymoon in Vegas is a genuinely fun viewing experience full of familiar faces and outlandish situations.

This movie contains:

Crazy Cage Face.

Nic Cage, Master of Disguise.

The Flying Elvises.

God Bless Uwe Boll Part III: Not LotR, Srsly

Break out the boomerangs, because In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, aka Jason Statham Rides a Horse and Kills People, is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest co-host Daryl Surat of AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell:  Uwe Boll has an amazing gift to take any film of any genre and any budget-level and transform it into a clattering wreck of ineptitude punctuated with moments of actual competance.  In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale is no exception, and might possibly be Boll’s magnum opus.

Cage Rage: Bangkok Dangerous

Watch out for those eighties pop song references, because Bangkok Dangerous is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest cohost Jeff “Rich Lather” Tatarek of the Lather’s Blather Podcast.

Review in a Nutshell:  A stylish crime drama done by two brothers who desperately want to be John Woo, Bangkok Dangerous is bad, but not as bad as the reviews would have you believe.  Also, Nic Cage has fabulous hair.

This movie contains:

Nic Cage, Master of Disguise.

Fat Daryl Surat.

Moon Face.

Logic: 1, Magic: Big Fat Zero

Dust off the lances and saddle up your trusty steed, because The Flight of Dragons is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest co-host Chad “Winter” Clayton.

Review in a Nutshell:  With a narrative borrowed from several different sources, The Flight of Dragons gets by more on its weird visual aesthetic than on the strength of its story.  This film is another Rankin / Bass related emotional scar on my childhood.

This movie contains:

Evil Dragons.

Scary Wizards.

Everybody Dies.

“Kneel Before Zod!”

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, Superman II is The Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the poster above or the movie’s title to download our review of the film, featuring the return of Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

PLEASE NOTE: Sean’s sound is going to be a little off until we can arrange a better recording set-up for him. Please bear with us.

Review in a Nutshell: Cobbled together from elements filmed by two drastically different directors, Superman II is one of those films that we loved as a kid that doesn’t hold up well when viewed with the eyes of an adult. Some of the fight scenes and special effects are still nifty, though.

“Werewolves Kick the @#$% out of Vampires, Part 1”

Break out the repeating crossbows, because Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or movie title above to download our review of the film.

Review in a Nutshell: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is the best of the Underworld series, mostly because it riffs on Lord of the Rings rather than The Matrix.  Also, this time the vampires finally get what’s coming to them.

This movie contains:

Ugly Vampires.

Scruffy Werewolves.

‘Unconfirmed’ Kills.

“Why is there a watermelon there?”

Fire up the Oscillation Overthruster, because Buckaroo Banzai is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest cohost Clarissa Graffeo of AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell:  Idiosyncratic and unapologetic, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension is a unique film with elements of science fiction, action, adventure, and comedy.  You’ll either love it or hate it; there is no middle ground.

This movie contains:

Robocop.

Lex Luthor.

Dr. Ian Malcolm.

Third Rock from the Sun.