Cage Rage: The Wicker Man

Hide the honey pot, because The Wicker Man is (definitely not) The Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title to download our review of the film, featuring guest co-hosts Dave and Joel from Fast Karate for the Gentleman.

Review in a Nutshell: Good composition and production design cannot save a film that is poorly plotted, unconvincingly cast, and ultimately as subtle as a kick in the groin. Watch it for Nic Cage spazzing out. Or better yet, watch this clip on Youtube instead.

And now, Your Moment of Nicolas Cage Zen:


Woman has Sex with Robot?

Strap on your go-go boots and grab your mighty sword, because Heavy Metal is the Greatest Movie EVER?

Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest cohost Gerald Rathkolb from AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell:  Uneven, over-sexed,  and outright weird in places, Heavy Metal is nonetheless a unique animated experience.  It might be even nerdier than T.R.O.N.

This podcast contains:

Terrible things, man, terrible things.

Cage Rage: Wind Talkers

Protect your radio, because Windtalkers is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the picture above or the movie title to download our review of the film, featuring guest cohost Daryl Surat of Anime World Order.

Review in a Nutshell:  The picture above encapsulates the totality of Windtalkers, a melodramatic war drama directed by John Woo.  A throw-back to an earlier era, Windtalkers feels out-of-place and unrealistic by modern standards, but is not nearly as bad as many criticisms would lead you to believe.

And Now, Your Moment of Nicolas Cage Zen:

Addendum:  The Hayao Miyazaki article that we mention at the end of the review can be found here.

Ewige Blumenkraft


Break out the glitter body-paint, because The Apple is the Greatest Movie EVER?

 Click on the movie title or the picture above to download our review of the film, featuring special guest host, Celebrity Translator Neil Nadelman.

Review in a Nutshell: Either a ham-fisted musical allegory or a piece of Illuminated propaganda, The Apple is a strange, disjointed film held together by the gooey goodness of Golan / Globus and Vladek Sheybal’s charming turn as Mr. Boogalow.

This movie contains:

Shaggy Hippies.

God?

SATAN.

An actual, actual, actual vampire?

Cage Rage: Bringing Out the Dead

Gas up  the ambulance and break out the crash-cart, because Bringing Out the Dead is the Greatest Movie EVER and also the January entry for The Year of the Cage!

Click on the movie poster or movie title above to download our review of the film.

Review in a Nutshell:  At times lyrical, at times psychedelic, at times darkly humorous, Bringing Out the Dead is a gritty drama of hope and human redemption.

And Now, Your Moment of Nicolas Cage Zen:

EDIT:  Our new theme banner was provided by Nick Korn of Oleetku Studios.  Thanks, Nick!

The Napoleon of Underwater Fish Crimes

Don’t go in the water, because Jaws: The Revenge is (definitely not) The Greatest Movie EVER!

Click the movie poster or the link above to download our review of the film.

Review in a Nutshell:  Stock footage, dodgy editing, immobile shark props, and Michael Caine are a powerful combination indeed.  Watch it with someone you love; they will hate you for it.

This movie contains:

Mario Van Peebles, Black MacGuyver.

RUBBA-SHARK.

This will end well.

FINAL THOUGHT:

THIS is how you show sea-dwelling creatures who is boss.

Also, click HERE to see comedian Richard Jeni’s take on Jaws: The Revenge.

NEEEEEEEEERD!

Boot up your identity disc program, because TRON is the Greatest (i.e. Nerdiest) Movie EVER!

This episode features special guest host “Joey Snackpants” from Green Mustard Productions.

Click on the movie poster or the link above to download our review of the film.

Review in a Nutshell:  Jeff Bridges and Bruce Boxleitner are digital warriors in the computer world, rescuing the pre-Internets from the evil Master Control Program.  It doesn’t get much nerdier than this.

Behold the Horrors that this Movie hath Wrought upon the Web:

Tron Guy.  You’ve seen it.  You can’t un-see it.

“We’ve come for the Krites.”

Strap on your hip-blaster, because Critters is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  Critters is a charming creature feature filled with realistic human characters and outrageous alien criminals and bounty hunters.  It features special effects by the Chiodo Brothers and Terrence Mann’s tremendous eighties hair.

This movie does not contain:

Jeff’s Enormous Horse, Carter.

That Wu Du that You Do

Put on your secret kung fu master mask, because The 5 Deadly Venoms is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  One part Agatha Christie, one part violent gimmick kung fu, 5 Deadly Venoms is a classic that showcases the skills of some of the best martial arts actors to grace the silver screen.

This Movie Contains Stuff We Completely Forgot to Mention:

Throat Hook.

Brain Pin.

Ear Trauma.

Who Goes There?

Fire up your flame-thrower, because John Carpenter’s The Thing is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the link above to download our review of the film.

Review in a Nutshell:   Brimming over with gore and paranoia, John Carpenter’s The Thing is a pessimistic vision and a luminary example of  the science fiction / horror subgenre.

COMING SOON!

“You fool!  My kung fu is best!”