The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Fire up your Thermos cannons, because Alien: Resurrection is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean Ryan of the Alpha Counter podcast.
Review in a Nutshell: Strong set design and the presence of Ron Perlman are not enough to save Alien: Resurrection, a film that is saddled with a mediocre Joss Whedon script and the bizarre cinematic affectations of Jean-Pierre Jeunet.
Charge up the Aqualungs, because Creature from the Black Lagoon is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.
Review in a Nutshell: Originally a gimmicky 3D horror film, Creature from the Black Lagoon has aged surprisingly well, taking on layers of environmental allegory as newer generations interpret the film. The special effects and underwater photography are especially strong, but don’t discount the human drama or the sad, lonely state of the movie’s persecuted monster.
Fire up the rocket-sled, because TIMECOP is the greatest movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.
Review in a Nutshell: Ridiculous nudity, bad physics, henchmen with villainous hair, Ron Silver stealing every scene he’s in, and Jean Claude doing the splits. Truly, TIMECOP is the apex of Western film.
This movie contains:
Presented without further comment.
ERRATA: I meant Joel Schumacher, not Jerry Bruckheimer, when discussing Flatliners.
Hide the freon, because Crash and Burn is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Andrew from The Veef Show.
Review in a Nutshell: A low-budget science fiction slasher film, Crash and Burn cribs more from The Terminator than from earlier Charles Band properties. Along with Robot Wars, this is one of many films purported to be a sequel to Robot Jox.
This movie contains:
The Future!
Hand Trauma.
Bill Moseley, Paragon of Acting Technology.
Melancholy Robots.
We interrupt our regularly scheduled podcast to bring you this special announcement: Prometheus is terrible.
Click on the movie poster or title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest hosts Ian Strope of the Futile Podcast and Rachel Pandich, author of indie comic book Aspire.
Review in a Nutshell: Although undeniably beautiful in terms of cinematography and production design, Prometheus suffers from a poor script with writing that disintegrates into a flaming wreck by the movie’s conclusion. Some people claim the film posses too many unanswered questions. I claim the opposite: the film answers too many questions, and the answers it gives are dumb.
Fuel up the helicopter, because Shark Attack in the Mediterranean is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring M.O.M., the Mistress of Malapropisms.
Review in a Nutshell: A perfect storm of hilarious dubbing and scenes lifted from other, bigger movies, Shark Attack in the Meditarranean, aka Shark Alarm off Mallorca, features surprisingly good CG sharks and the charming antics of bodybuilder-turned-actor Ralf Moeller. As always, M.O.M. loves the scenery.
Continue reading “The Mega-Low Down on the Megalodon in Mallorca.”
Hook up the electrodes, because Dreamscape is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.
Review in a Nutshell: Aside from a questionable “dream invasion” or two, Dreamscape is a fun little film that plays with the idea of psychic powers and dream manipulation. Despite having a small budget, it has numerous strong performances and some decent special effects.
This movie contains:
SCIENCE!
The nefarious George Wendt?
Tragic Snake Face.
Strap on your cape, because Superman IV: The Quest for Peace is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the DVD cover or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.
Review in a Nutshell: Far from being a ‘betrayal’ or ‘the worst Superman movie’, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace is a movie with big ideas and a tiny, tiny budget. It remains the favorite Superman of both cohosts, whose taste as we all know is impeccable.
This movie contains:
Amazing volcanic special effects!
RAWR!
WTF?
ERRATA: The Jackie Chan movie we mention in which Jackie Chan dresses up as Chun Li from Streetfighter is actually the live-action Hong Kong version of City Hunter.
Fire up the afterburners, because The Final Countdown is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Celebrity Translator Neil Nadelman.
Review in a Nutshell: A military documentary masquerading as a time travel film, The Final Countdown has some amazing visuals of modern technology in action. Don’t expect a deep exploration of alternative histories or time paradoxes, though.
Gather up your magic power crystals, because Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review, featuring guest host Mike Toole. (He’s from the Internet.)
Review in a Nutshell: Shamelessly cribbing from numerous other films such as Mad Max and Star Wars, Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn is an inappropriately named piece of low-budget science fantasy. Originally released in stereoscopic 3-D, this ambitious but incomprehensible little gem has been rescued from obscurity by a terrible DVD release. (It’s also on Netflix Instant at the time of this writing.)
This movie contains:
Evil Australian Necromancers.
Cyborg Justice?
Jeffrey Byron’s One Facial Expression.
Crystar, the Crystal Warrior?
What’s wrong with your faaaaaaaace?
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 