“BABIESSSSSS!”

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Come on out of your shell, because Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER.

Review in a Nutshell: This one’s a bloodbath. I believe Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze  is a bad movie that does not hold up to starry-eyed childhood nostalgia. My co-hosts disagree. I get to write these blurbs, though, so I WIN! MWA HA HA!

Estelle Getty is Kind of a Magical Pixie Dream Girl.

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Button up your diapers, because Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Andrew of Collection DX.

Review in a Nutshell: Universally pilloried for Stallone’s poor performance, the terrible writing, and the lame jokes, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot is not as bad as you would expect it to be, largely because Estelle Getty is quite a charming lady. This film plays like a forensic examination on how not to make a comedy, and for that reason I find it fascinating.

Too Cool for Words

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Hold onto your belts, because Pootie Tang is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean ‘Hollywood’ Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  See, my damie, Pootie Tang don’t wa-da-tah to the shama cow… ’cause thats a cama cama leepa-chaiii, dig?

Double Feature: Adamantium (Nerd) Rage

 

Unsheath those claws, because we’re serving up a double-header of the Greatest Movie EVER!

First, X-men Origins: Wolverine may not be the Greatest Movie EVER, but at least Logan’s hair looks fabulous.

And second, X-men III: The Last Stand will make your inner nerd whimper for mercy.

Click on the movie titles above to download our reviews of the films, featuring a very heart-broken Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

It Only Hurts the First Time.

Conga to the beat of the steel-drums, mon, because Weekend at Bernies II is the Greatest (Worst) Movie EVER!

Click the poster or the movie title to download the review.

Review in a Nutshell:  Remember Nietzsche?  That whole gazing into the Abyss, the Abyss gazes into you thing?   He was  talking about this movie.

This movie contains:

Bernie.

Voodoo Mind Control.

We completely neglected to mention Barry Bostwick.

‘Lugubrious’ Actually Means ‘Melancholy’

Gas up the Dune Buggy, because Doomsday is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell: Imagine a distillation of all the crazy stuff that made eighties action movies so remarkable, now add exploding rabbits and Ren Fair.  That’s Doomsday.

This movie contains:

Cybernetic Eyeballs.

Punk Rock Apocalypse Cannibals.

Medieval Knights on Horseback.

Graphical Interface Manipulation Program?

This movie does not contain:

This lady.

COMING SOON:

We need to do something special for episode 150.

Ah, soap.  The yardstick of civilization.

Zeus is a Jerk.

The Greatest Worst Movie EVER!

Enlist the aid of the Greek pantheon, because

Clash of the Titans is the Greatest Worst Movie EVER!

This movie contains:

Way to cash a paycheck, Olivier.

MIND LASERS!

Something for the ladies.

Horrendous Eighties Hair.

BLEEP BLOOP BLORP

Horrifying Mechanical Abominations from the Stygian Pits of Gehenna.

DUR?

Misappropriated Norwegian Monsters.

A little Retin A will clear that right up.

Did I mention Horrendous Hair?

What’s COMING SOON?

COMING SOON!

@#$%ing False Advertising, That’s What!

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