Author Archives: gooberzilla

Just a human being, traveling the Interwebs.

Sean goes Ballistic?

Hold onto your nanomachines, because Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever is probably not the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean ‘Hollywood’ Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Wow, this movie is bad.  Not even Antonio Banderas smoking and Ray Park doing flip-kicks can save this production from lifeless action sequences and a catastrophically muddled script.

Peanut-headed Pliosaur

Hold onto your Jet Skis, because Dinoshark is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring M.O.M..

Review in a Nutshell:  A fun little creature feature with decent production values, Dinoshark is one of the better low-budget, prehistoric aquatic predator movies.

This movie contains:

Sunglasses + Binoculars

Hey, look, a helicopter!

Authentic Military-grade Hardware.

Continue reading “Peanut-headed Pliosaur”

4th Time’s a Charm?

Fire up your Thermos cannons, because Alien: Resurrection is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean Ryan of the Alpha Counter podcast.

Review in a Nutshell:  Strong set design and the presence of Ron Perlman are not enough to save Alien: Resurrection, a film that is saddled with a mediocre Joss Whedon script and the bizarre cinematic affectations of Jean-Pierre Jeunet.

No Breakfast Cereal for You, Gillman!

Charge up the Aqualungs, because Creature from the Black Lagoon is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Originally a gimmicky 3D horror film, Creature from the Black Lagoon has aged surprisingly well, taking on layers of environmental allegory as newer generations interpret the film.  The special effects and underwater photography are especially strong, but don’t discount the human drama or the sad, lonely state of the movie’s persecuted monster.

The Ballad of Duck Cheesecake

Hold onto you noses, because Conan the Barbarian (2011) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Dave and Joel from Fast Karate for the Gentleman.

Review in a Nutshell:  Although the film contains good casting and some truly hilarious moments, the new Conan film is missing a certain something that puts our guest hosts ill at ease.  Paul still considers it to be the “feel-good family comedy of the year.”

It’s actually pronounced LUM-bear.

Buy those tickets to bunraku, because The Hunted (1995) is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the DVD cover of the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  The Hunted (1995) is a movie with an identity crisis.  Half of the film is a modern samurai vs ninja drama, a nihilistic tale of men with antiquated values carrying out their ancient war in the streets of modern Japan.  The other half is Christopher Lambert being a total goober.

Magnificent Martial Violence!

Sharpen your machetes, because The Raid: Redemption is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film,

featuring guest hosts Daryl Surat of AnimeWorldOrder and Rachel Pandich, author of Aspire.

Review in a Nutshell:  An Indonesian martial arts movie written and directed by a Welsh man, The Raid: Redemption is not just a typical action movie.  It blends drama and suspense with some of the most breath-taking and technically accomplished fight choreography in recent cinema history to create a tight, tense, thoroughly engrossing experience.

Continue reading “Magnificent Martial Violence!”