The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Ordinarily I would be assaulting your senses with a Christmas themed horror movie, such as Santa’s Slay.
But this year, Netflix decided to come down with a terminal case of stupidity, and failed to ship me any of the films that I wanted.
So you’ll just have to make do with Legend instead.
Review in a Nutshell: Legend is another one of those films that inspires a disproportionate level of fanaticism compared to its actual quality as a film. Also, Tom Cruise in a Peter Pan outfit.
Place your bets on your favorite giant marauding reptile, because Komodo vs Cobra is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Unlike The Curse of the Komodo from the same director, Glori-Anne Gilbert does not get naked in this film. Also, there are giant, computer generated endangered species, and they fight.
Aim for the head, because Dawn of the Dead is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Low budget and slowly paced, Dawn of the Dead is the cornerstone of the genre for the zombie afficianados out there. For everyone, else, well…
This podcast contains:
All Sean, all the time.
Watch out for Calcifier Death Rays, because Robot Monster is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: A cautionary tale about the dangers of amateur archaeology, ferocious dinosaurs, and robots that wish to be like the Hoo-man. Truly, Robot Monster is the King Lear of robot films.
This movie contains:
DINOSAURS!
ROBOTS!
TRUE ROMANCE?
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Sometimes you’ve just got to dance-fight for freedom, because Only the Strong is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Mark Dacascos saves a dozen troubled high schoolers through the power of capoeira. He also beats up a gang of drug lords, also through the power of capoeira. Truly, all of life’s problems can be solved with a careful application of the art of Brazilian dance-fighting.
This movie contains:
RASTA!
Sexy Gymnastics.
Purple Sweatpants of Justice.
This brings the Big Month of Mark to its conclusion. Don’t worry, we’ll be sure to cover other Mark Dacascos films, such as Brotherhood of the Wolf and Crying Freeman, at some later date.
In the mean time, it’s back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Hold onto your smuggled shipment of biochips, because Redline is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Tibor Takacs’s answer to Blade Runner. Nuff said.
This movie contains:
Experimental Brain Surgery.
The gun from RoboCop.
Come on, we all know what Virtual Reality would really be used for…
Homoerotic Turkish Baths.
Seriously, Mark, you don’t know where that navel has been…
COMING SOON!
Even more Mark Dacascos goodness in the month of November!
Only the strong could make it this far…
Fire some arrows from horseback, because Nomad: The Warrior is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: A fictionalized account of the life of young Ablai Khan, Nomad is probably the only film you’re likely to see that is both produced by and about the nation of Kazakhstan.
This film contains:
Jason Scott Lee, Wandering Wiseman.
Pointy Hats.
EVEN POINTIER HATS.
COMING SOON!
Even more Mark Dacascos goodness in the month of November.
Hold onto your boots, because Drive is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Badly mishandled in its initial release, Drive is an American action movie with both a great sense of humor and a Hong Kong martial arts flair. Condemned to obscurity by its producers, this film should have made Mark Dacascos and Steve Wang household names.
This movie contains:
FIST BOOTS.
Disgruntled cowboy hitmen with rocket launchers.
Fruity musical numbers.
COMING SOON!
More Mark Dacascos goodness in the month of November!
Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about your mother,
because Blade Runner is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nut-shell: Visually visionary but emotionally distant, Blade Runner is a revolutionary piece of science fiction and its impact on world of film is still felt to this day.
This movie contains:
Harrison Ford, Master of Facial Expressions.
HURRAY FOR UNICORNS!
RealDolls.
Tears in the Rain.
As a special Halloween-themed treat (or is it a trick?), we declare that
Hocus Pocus and Empire of the Ants are the Greatest Movies EVER!
Reviews in a Nutshell: Hocus Pocus has Sarah Jessica Parker as a sorcerous seductress. Empire of the Ants has giant, radioactive ants. What more needs to be said?
These movies (respectively) contain:
ZOMG GIANT ANTS.
SATAN.
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 