The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Hide the mirrors, because Prince of Darkness is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click the movie poster or title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.
Review in a Nutshell: A great concept hampered by some weak characterizations, Prince of Darkness is a film that almost suceeds at replicating Lovecraftian cosmic horror. It serves as the second entry of John Carpenter’s “Apocalypse Trilogy”.
This movie contains:
Satan?
Satan.
SATAN!!!
Break out the flea collars, because Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf is The Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring special guest host Keith Allison from Teleport City.
Review in a Nutshell: Featuring titanium bullets, new wave rockers, and an eight thousand year old werewolf matriarch, Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf is a stupifyingly terrible film. It’s the cinematic equivalent of being hit in the helmet by a morningstar-wielding midget. Watch it with someone you love.
This movie contains:
Christopher Lee in Raver Shades.
Black Magic.
Force Lightning.
Ugly American Tourism.
Load up your kangaroo-shootin’ rifle, because Razorback is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Katherine the Great.
Review in a Nutshell: At times strangely psychedelic, Razorback is a “killer critter” horror film with some strange artistic flourishes and a rather immobile giant boar puppet. As Katherine says, this one falls somewhere in between Jaws and Jaws: The Revenge in terms of quality.
This movie contains:
Grandpa RAGE!
Typical Australian Hospitality.
There’s a giant rampaging boar hidden somewhere in this picture. Can you spot it?
Don’t spare the bologna sandwiches, because Troll 2 is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.
Review in a Nutshell: Wooden acting, cheap special effects, ridiculous fairy-tale logic, and crew of crazy Italians…it all adds up to one of the most awesomely bad movies in cinema history!
This movie contains:
Ghosts.
Goblins.
Delicious Vegan Cuisine.
Oh – oh dear God, no! Just no! DO NOT WANT!
FINAL THOUGHT:
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
Get ready to tune your weapons, because Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film.
Review in a Nutshell: Rock ‘n’ Roll Nightmare is an astounding combination of eighties metal, demonic horror, and a third secret ingredient that makes this movie a low-budget mind-blower. Do not miss this film!
ERRATA: Jon Mikl Thor was in a movie called Zombie Nightmare, not “Zombie Massacre”, and he was on the Merv Griffin Show, not the Johnny Carson Show. We needed to clear that up.
This film contains:
The Eighties.
WTF?
FINAL THOUGHT:
WE LIVE TO ROCK!
Break out the repeating crossbows, because Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or movie title above to download our review of the film.
Review in a Nutshell: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is the best of the Underworld series, mostly because it riffs on Lord of the Rings rather than The Matrix. Also, this time the vampires finally get what’s coming to them.
This movie contains:
Ugly Vampires.
Scruffy Werewolves.
‘Unconfirmed’ Kills.
Hide the honey pot, because The Wicker Man is (definitely not) The Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the title to download our review of the film, featuring guest co-hosts Dave and Joel from Fast Karate for the Gentleman.
Review in a Nutshell: Good composition and production design cannot save a film that is poorly plotted, unconvincingly cast, and ultimately as subtle as a kick in the groin. Watch it for Nic Cage spazzing out. Or better yet, watch this clip on Youtube instead.
And now, Your Moment of Nicolas Cage Zen:
Don’t go in the water, because Jaws: The Revenge is (definitely not) The Greatest Movie EVER!
Click the movie poster or the link above to download our review of the film.
Review in a Nutshell: Stock footage, dodgy editing, immobile shark props, and Michael Caine are a powerful combination indeed. Watch it with someone you love; they will hate you for it.
This movie contains:
Mario Van Peebles, Black MacGuyver.
RUBBA-SHARK.
This will end well.
FINAL THOUGHT:
THIS is how you show sea-dwelling creatures who is boss.
Also, click HERE to see comedian Richard Jeni’s take on Jaws: The Revenge.
Strap on your hip-blaster, because Critters is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Critters is a charming creature feature filled with realistic human characters and outrageous alien criminals and bounty hunters. It features special effects by the Chiodo Brothers and Terrence Mann’s tremendous eighties hair.
This movie does not contain:
Jeff’s Enormous Horse, Carter.
Fire up your flame-thrower, because John Carpenter’s The Thing is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Click on the movie poster or the link above to download our review of the film.
Review in a Nutshell: Brimming over with gore and paranoia, John Carpenter’s The Thing is a pessimistic vision and a luminary example of the science fiction / horror subgenre.
COMING SOON!
“You fool! My kung fu is best!”
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 