Category Archives: Greatest Movie EVER

NEEEEEEEEERD!

Boot up your identity disc program, because TRON is the Greatest (i.e. Nerdiest) Movie EVER!

This episode features special guest host “Joey Snackpants” from Green Mustard Productions.

Click on the movie poster or the link above to download our review of the film.

Review in a Nutshell:  Jeff Bridges and Bruce Boxleitner are digital warriors in the computer world, rescuing the pre-Internets from the evil Master Control Program.  It doesn’t get much nerdier than this.

Behold the Horrors that this Movie hath Wrought upon the Web:

Tron Guy.  You’ve seen it.  You can’t un-see it.

“We’ve come for the Krites.”

Strap on your hip-blaster, because Critters is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  Critters is a charming creature feature filled with realistic human characters and outrageous alien criminals and bounty hunters.  It features special effects by the Chiodo Brothers and Terrence Mann’s tremendous eighties hair.

This movie does not contain:

Jeff’s Enormous Horse, Carter.

That Wu Du that You Do

Put on your secret kung fu master mask, because The 5 Deadly Venoms is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  One part Agatha Christie, one part violent gimmick kung fu, 5 Deadly Venoms is a classic that showcases the skills of some of the best martial arts actors to grace the silver screen.

This Movie Contains Stuff We Completely Forgot to Mention:

Throat Hook.

Brain Pin.

Ear Trauma.

Who Goes There?

Fire up your flame-thrower, because John Carpenter’s The Thing is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the link above to download our review of the film.

Review in a Nutshell:   Brimming over with gore and paranoia, John Carpenter’s The Thing is a pessimistic vision and a luminary example of  the science fiction / horror subgenre.

COMING SOON!

“You fool!  My kung fu is best!”

“@#$% You, Chelios!”

Signaling the triumphant return of the Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast to uploading new content, we kick off the migration to the new hosting service with three movie reviews for the price of none!

Click here or click the picture above to download a podcast that examines Crank, Crank 2: High Voltage, and Gamer.

WARNING:  This podcast contains dangerous levels of bleeped-out words and Daryl Surat.

Reviews in a Nutshell:  Jason Statham drives a car and kills people.  Gerard Butler does, too.

Click here if you wish to see the image that encapsulates the entirety of the Crank mythos. 

This image is spoiler-iffic and not very polite.  Viewer discretion is advised.

Sho Kosugi, You Are Not James Bond.

Break out those exploding shurikens, because Rage of Honor is (definitely not) the Greatest Movie EVER! 

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download  the review.

Review in a Nutshell:  Crippled by terrible camera-work and Sho Kosugi’s broken Engrish, Rage of Honor is not an ideal ninja movie.  Still, we at the Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast are thankful for ninja movies in general.

This movie contains:

FALSE ADVERTISING!

Sho Kosugi, Gentleman Spy.

Camo-Pajama Jesus Ninjas.

Nap-Time for Monsters

Break out the bibs and butter, because Godzilla vs the Sea Monster is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download the review.

Review in a Nutshell:  Godzilla hackey-sacks with a giant shrimp.  What more do you want?

This movie contains:

You don’t have to be evil to sport an eyepatch, but it helps.

JUMBO SHRIMP!

Is that Godzilla, or a Stoned  Cookie Monster?

ERRATA:  “They Shoot Horses, Don’t They?” was actually released in 1969, so Godzilla vs the Sea Monster was actually blazing trails.

She’s got the Look.

Pack up your sleeping bags, because Sleepaway Camp is the Greatest Movie EVER! 

Luke “The Sasquatch” White is our guest camp-counselor on this slice of summer camp horror.  Please click the poster or the movie title to download the review.

Review in a Nutshell:   Thanks to clever directing and several symbolic artistic flourishes, Sleepaway Camp remains a shocking experience more than a quarter-century after its initial release.  It’s a rare example of a horror movie with a disturbing exploration of a theme. 

This movie contains:

The Look.

Burn Work.

The Arrow Gag.

GRAAAARGHR!

COMING SOON!

Our Secret Halloween Theme concludes with the most horrifying zombie movie ever made.

“Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground…Democrat?”

Get out the Geiger counter, because C.H.U.D. is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  A cheesy horror film from the early eighties, C.H.U.D. succeeds thanks to solid performances from the cast, strong editing, and a psychologically-oppressive atmosphere.  The rubber monster suits help, too.

This movie contains:

Crazy Homeless People.

Grumpy Frumpy Face.

The mutation makes your eyes all glowy…

FINAL THOUGHT!

Producer Andrew Bonime’s response to the C.H.U.D. DVD commentary can be found here.

The D is Silent.

Drag out your coffin, because Django is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell:  A morally ambiguous spaghetti-western, Django has been hugely influential on the genre.  Its grim setting and spontaneous bursts of violence are still entertaining despite decades of imitators cribbing from the film.