Naked Space Vampires

lifeforce_poster

Hold onto your precious essence, because Lifeforce is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring the UK’s own Ollie Bulmer.

Review in a Nutshell:  Great special effects, droll British performances, and the lovely Mathilda May can’t prevent this troubled Golan / Globus production from being tugged in too many different directions at once.  Is this the Greatest Movie EVER?  Ollie and I disagree.

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4th Time’s a Charm?

Fire up your Thermos cannons, because Alien: Resurrection is (probably not) the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean Ryan of the Alpha Counter podcast.

Review in a Nutshell:  Strong set design and the presence of Ron Perlman are not enough to save Alien: Resurrection, a film that is saddled with a mediocre Joss Whedon script and the bizarre cinematic affectations of Jean-Pierre Jeunet.

Emergency Podcast System: Prometheus

We interrupt our regularly scheduled podcast to bring you this special announcement:  Prometheus is terrible.

Click on the movie poster or title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest hosts Ian Strope of the Futile Podcast and Rachel Pandich, author of indie comic book Aspire.

Review in a Nutshell:  Although undeniably beautiful in terms of cinematography and production design, Prometheus suffers from a poor script with writing that disintegrates into a flaming wreck by the movie’s conclusion.  Some people claim the film posses too many unanswered questions.  I claim the opposite: the film answers too many questions, and the answers it gives are dumb.

“Merry Christmas, You Filthy Man-Animals!”

Attach those alien nose-plugs, because Battlefield Earth is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie poster or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest cohost Max Dunn.

Review in a Nutshell:  Listen up, rat-brain!  Just because a movie has an incomprehensible plot, hammy acting, ridiculous dialog, and goofy special effects does not mean it’s not the Greatest Movie EVER!  Get that through your skull-bone!

Fun Fact:

The “sharpened log fence” is actually called a “stockade”.

Aim for the Nerve Cluster!

Get ready to abuse some innocent fishmen, because ARENA is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the movie cover or the title above to download our review of the film, featuring Sean “Hollywood” Hunting.

Review in a Nutshell:  Did you see that guy just punch that giant rubber space lizard in the face?  Did you?  BECAUSE I SURE DID!

“Why is there a watermelon there?”

Fire up the Oscillation Overthruster, because Buckaroo Banzai is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Click on the poster or the movie title above to download our review of the film, featuring guest cohost Clarissa Graffeo of AnimeWorldOrder.

Review in a Nutshell:  Idiosyncratic and unapologetic, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension is a unique film with elements of science fiction, action, adventure, and comedy.  You’ll either love it or hate it; there is no middle ground.

This movie contains:

Robocop.

Lex Luthor.

Dr. Ian Malcolm.

Third Rock from the Sun.

Are you Afraid of the Dark?

Beware of mutant space geckos, because Pitch Black is the Greatest Movie EVER!

Review in a Nutshell: Pitch Black is a clever little science fiction film with a used universe aesthetic and a scintillating performance by Vin Diesel as escaped convict Richard B. Riddick. Too bad David Twohy had to muck it all up in the sequel…

This movie contains:

Keith David, Space Faring Muslim.

Purple People Eaters? (Okay, that’s more of a Cyan…)

ACTING!

PATHOS.

COMING SOON!

Once again we’ll venture into the Gothic imagination of Guillermo del Toro

when Sean and I review The Devil’s Backbone.