The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
I hope you paid off your dangerous, experimental surgery premiums, because Fantastic Voyage is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Psychedelic and more than a little absurd, Fantastic Voyage is a film that benefits greatly from a second viewing. Plus, Raquel Welch in a skin-tight wetsuit.
This is the only picture that should be required to convince you
that Death Race is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: On one hand, indistinguishable gray vehicles firing machine guns at one another in an ash-colored soup of choppy action scenes. On the other hand, Mario Kart power-ups and Robin Shou. On the gripping hand, Jason Statham.
Place your bets on your favorite giant marauding reptile, because Komodo vs Cobra is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Unlike The Curse of the Komodo from the same director, Glori-Anne Gilbert does not get naked in this film. Also, there are giant, computer generated endangered species, and they fight.
Watch out for Calcifier Death Rays, because Robot Monster is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: A cautionary tale about the dangers of amateur archaeology, ferocious dinosaurs, and robots that wish to be like the Hoo-man. Truly, Robot Monster is the King Lear of robot films.
This movie contains:
DINOSAURS!
ROBOTS!
TRUE ROMANCE?
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Hold onto your smuggled shipment of biochips, because Redline is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Tibor Takacs’s answer to Blade Runner. Nuff said.
This movie contains:
Experimental Brain Surgery.
The gun from RoboCop.
Come on, we all know what Virtual Reality would really be used for…
Homoerotic Turkish Baths.
Seriously, Mark, you don’t know where that navel has been…
COMING SOON!
Even more Mark Dacascos goodness in the month of November!
Only the strong could make it this far…
Hold onto your boots, because Drive is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Badly mishandled in its initial release, Drive is an American action movie with both a great sense of humor and a Hong Kong martial arts flair. Condemned to obscurity by its producers, this film should have made Mark Dacascos and Steve Wang household names.
This movie contains:
FIST BOOTS.
Disgruntled cowboy hitmen with rocket launchers.
Fruity musical numbers.
COMING SOON!
More Mark Dacascos goodness in the month of November!
Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about your mother,
because Blade Runner is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nut-shell: Visually visionary but emotionally distant, Blade Runner is a revolutionary piece of science fiction and its impact on world of film is still felt to this day.
This movie contains:
Harrison Ford, Master of Facial Expressions.
HURRAY FOR UNICORNS!
RealDolls.
Tears in the Rain.
As a special Halloween-themed treat (or is it a trick?), we declare that
Hocus Pocus and Empire of the Ants are the Greatest Movies EVER!
Reviews in a Nutshell: Hocus Pocus has Sarah Jessica Parker as a sorcerous seductress. Empire of the Ants has giant, radioactive ants. What more needs to be said?
These movies (respectively) contain:
ZOMG GIANT ANTS.
SATAN.
Gas up the Dune Buggy, because Doomsday is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Imagine a distillation of all the crazy stuff that made eighties action movies so remarkable, now add exploding rabbits and Ren Fair. That’s Doomsday.
This movie contains:
Cybernetic Eyeballs.
Punk Rock Apocalypse Cannibals.
Medieval Knights on Horseback.
Graphical Interface Manipulation Program?
This movie does not contain:
This lady.
COMING SOON:
We need to do something special for episode 150.
Ah, soap. The yardstick of civilization.
In the future Mars is a lot like Epcot, and Cowboy Bebop: Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door
is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: The Cowboy Bebop movie is basically an episode of the TV series extended out to feature film length. Whether that’s its greatest strength or its greatest weakness is a matter of opinion.
Be sure to check out DAPD-DX’s review here and Dave and Joel’s take here.
This movie contains:
The Patented Ed-in-an-Amphora(TM).
Faye Valentine, Being Useless and Getting Kidnapped. (Again.)
Psychotic Villains.
“A man who was living in a dream…”
COMING SOON!
Daryl Surat invades GME! for another round of ‘feeding time at the @#$%ing zoo!’
