The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast
Reviewing only the finest films in the history of cinema. And robots, too.
Get ready to wave some hippy crystals, because
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within is (definitely not) the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Technically astonishing but emotionally empty, Final Fantasy may have worked better as a video game rather than a full-length theatrical film. A weak plot and cliche characters diminish the power of the film’s extraordinary visuals.
COMING SOON!
“Who put this giant cheese grater in my spaceship?”
Celebrating three years and 175 episodes of pure podcasterization, we break out the oars, because Waterworld is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Dryland is not a myth!
NOTE: I forgot to mention that David Twohy, author of the execrable Chronicles of Riddick, co-wrote the script for Waterworld.
I blame him entirely for all of the excesses in the Extended Cut.
Grease up your Bio-Port, because eXistenZ is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: An inspired and unsettling piece of metafiction, eXistenZ is also a sexually-charged, reality-bending science fiction film. Long live the New Flesh!
This movie contains:
Mutated Amphibians.
Exciting Advances in Game Technology.
Symbolism, maybe?
Ewwwwww! Don’t stick your tongue in my Bio-Port!
EDIT! This podcast contains:
Jeremy, from Destroy All Podcasts DX. I’d insert another witty caption to go with this picture,
but I’m too entranced by the sheer manliness of his passionate bass playing.
Beware of stock footage in the swamp, because Bride of the Monster is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: This movie contains Wood-en acting, lousy sets, rubber animals, and a veritable cavalcade of absurdities. I love it dearly.
This movie also contains:
SCIENCE!
Shaved Yetis.
Atomic Monsters?
I hope you paid off your dangerous, experimental surgery premiums, because Fantastic Voyage is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Psychedelic and more than a little absurd, Fantastic Voyage is a film that benefits greatly from a second viewing. Plus, Raquel Welch in a skin-tight wetsuit.
This is the only picture that should be required to convince you
that Death Race is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: On one hand, indistinguishable gray vehicles firing machine guns at one another in an ash-colored soup of choppy action scenes. On the other hand, Mario Kart power-ups and Robin Shou. On the gripping hand, Jason Statham.
Place your bets on your favorite giant marauding reptile, because Komodo vs Cobra is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Unlike The Curse of the Komodo from the same director, Glori-Anne Gilbert does not get naked in this film. Also, there are giant, computer generated endangered species, and they fight.
Watch out for Calcifier Death Rays, because Robot Monster is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: A cautionary tale about the dangers of amateur archaeology, ferocious dinosaurs, and robots that wish to be like the Hoo-man. Truly, Robot Monster is the King Lear of robot films.
This movie contains:
DINOSAURS!
ROBOTS!
TRUE ROMANCE?
CLOSING THOUGHT!
Hold onto your smuggled shipment of biochips, because Redline is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Tibor Takacs’s answer to Blade Runner. Nuff said.
This movie contains:
Experimental Brain Surgery.
The gun from RoboCop.
Come on, we all know what Virtual Reality would really be used for…
Homoerotic Turkish Baths.
Seriously, Mark, you don’t know where that navel has been…
COMING SOON!
Even more Mark Dacascos goodness in the month of November!
Only the strong could make it this far…
Hold onto your boots, because Drive is the Greatest Movie EVER!
Review in a Nutshell: Badly mishandled in its initial release, Drive is an American action movie with both a great sense of humor and a Hong Kong martial arts flair. Condemned to obscurity by its producers, this film should have made Mark Dacascos and Steve Wang household names.
This movie contains:
FIST BOOTS.
Disgruntled cowboy hitmen with rocket launchers.
Fruity musical numbers.
COMING SOON!
More Mark Dacascos goodness in the month of November!
The Greatest Movie EVER! Podcast 